u/bun_skittles

Hi all!

My parents have a 3 year old male Boerboel (K) who was abandoned by his owner at 8 months. My parents took him in and tried to find him a family, but no one wanted him. He’s been here since.

I’ve started to get to know him closely very recently. I started giving him treats through a barrier first because I was very scared by his jaw size. Eventually, I braved it out and started meeting him without a barrier but with others around. We played “find it”, where I’d throw a treat away from me to keep distance. Slowly that turned into me teaching him sit and feeding him from my hand. After the hand feeding (last week), progress was extremely quick. That paralysing fear around his jaw size didn’t feel so paralysing anymore.

Anyway, now I pet him. And he loves to be pet so bad, he begs if I stop. He begs by nuzzling his head into me, biting my tshirt gently, or holding my hand in his mouth. The first time he used his mouth he was a bit too excited, but still gentle, but now he’s just extremely gentle and not at all running all around me (even though he does use his body to stop me from leaving so I continue petting).

I’m not sure what to do? Should I not pet if he mouths? Or is gentle mouthing ok to give into? My other dog also likes to hold my hand gently with his mouth and take me places. It’s endearing and I love it. He’s 11 years old now, still does it. But a Boerbel‘s different, so idk. But really, he’s extremely gentle. I’m quite surprised by the control he has. I weight less than 100 lbs. He can knock me over easily, but he doesn’t.

Good afternoon!

I left Malawi soon after entering my teens and moved back home about 15 years later. I used to be fluent as a child. Never learnt Chichewa in school, but I spent all my time playing with my adopted siblings (nanny’s kids). I laugh now, but I remember when we’d play “teacher teacher“, I’d sometimes teach them Chichewa lol.

Anyway, I’m not shy, and speak broken Chichewa openly and confidently. I’ve improved a lot over the past few months, but honestly, I’m exceptionally terrible still. Along with all that, I’ve also forgotten Malawian history and cultural nuances. I talk to the staff at home about these things, for example Chewa culture is matrilineal and Gule Wankulu is a secret society within it, where as Lomwe are shifting more to speaking Chichewa, and many cannot speak their own dialect anymore. As lovely as it is, these conversations are very limited because of my vocabulary. I depend on my mum to translate for me.

I think taking classes and practicing with someone who also knows English may help me find the words I’m trying to express. Also to help me use ch, mu, ku, ti, li before words better. I’ve recently started tutoring 2 of their kids, aged 6 and 10. I love the impact I’ve been able to have on them. It would make a world of a difference with the 10 year old especially if I understood Chichewa more. I can’t always understand if he comprehends the meaning because he can’t express it well in English, and I can’t understand it well if he explains in Chichewa. For example I asked him if he knows what “true” means. He said yes, and gave me the Chichewa word for it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word in my life lol