Should i stop HRT?
I’ve been on T for 2.5 years, and previously was on it for 1 year before taking a break for a full year then going back on. I also had top surgery 2 years ago.
I’ve been feeling like i don’t know if i want to continue my transition, the neck beard is starting to grow in and i’ve got loads of body hair. I’m really struggling with a fear that i won’t like a full face of facial hair on me and that by then it will have been too late and i’ll be trapped shaving forever. I know that i can always get laser one day but maybe i’ve come to a stopping point? Lately i just feel like i look in the mirror and i don’t really know what i want to look like but I’m not really happy about it either. I’m growing out my hair so i wonder if the issue is that I need a short and more masculine hair cut and maybe that would be more euphoric. Or maybe if i did have a beard would that be what I didn’t know I was missing all along? But sometimes I feel conflicted on whether or not i even like my baby stache on me.
I’ve never been that committed to “passing” and when i tried embracing he/him pronouns it didn’t feel right. I feel genuinely genderqueer, nonbinary, and two spirit. Sometimes i wonder if i would have been happy as a really butch androgynous woman and never transitioned at all. although when i started t again 2.5 years ago i was desperate to start transitioning. maybe i’ve just gotten everything i wanted out of it.
side note i also think i want to bear children at some point and im concerned about my uterus.