r/FTMfemininity

I really try not to freak out over the fact that I'm getting closer to 30. Which I know is ridiculous, it's not like some doomsday clock ticking over my head.

Part of me is angry that I didn't transition sooner and get to enjoy being young and hot for long. People seem to take a lot of joy in bringing up twink death and I know I'm approaching that stage. I have a hard time imagining myself in 10, 20, 30 years. I know that nothing has to change, really, I'll be the same just look older. I know aging is supposed to be a gift but that's hard to accept when I didn't think or particularly want to even make it this far, and even now it's a struggle to believe that life's worth living. But that's a separate issue that goes a lot deeper than petty vanity.

I'm sorry for insulting readers of this post who are older than me. I know it's not the end of the world, and I probably sound extremely immature and shallow for worrying this much. I'm just mourning because I knew I was attractive looking before I transitioned (and having to give that up was a whole journey I'm still grappling with), but this is the first time in my life that I actually feel like me and I just wish I had more time.

I did it yall. 5 years after coming out to my husband and closest friends, 3 years after coming out to my younger brother, and 2 years after coming out to my coworkers.

I came out to them as nonbinary in 2018 and they kind of pretended it never happened, so this time I put it in an email, and kind of walked them through my whole gender journey, including how helpful this forum was to me in coming to understand myself.

Thank you all 💖

I’ve been on T for 2.5 years, and previously was on it for 1 year before taking a break for a full year then going back on. I also had top surgery 2 years ago.

I’ve been feeling like i don’t know if i want to continue my transition, the neck beard is starting to grow in and i’ve got loads of body hair. I’m really struggling with a fear that i won’t like a full face of facial hair on me and that by then it will have been too late and i’ll be trapped shaving forever. I know that i can always get laser one day but maybe i’ve come to a stopping point? Lately i just feel like i look in the mirror and i don’t really know what i want to look like but I’m not really happy about it either. I’m growing out my hair so i wonder if the issue is that I need a short and more masculine hair cut and maybe that would be more euphoric. Or maybe if i did have a beard would that be what I didn’t know I was missing all along? But sometimes I feel conflicted on whether or not i even like my baby stache on me.

I’ve never been that committed to “passing” and when i tried embracing he/him pronouns it didn’t feel right. I feel genuinely genderqueer, nonbinary, and two spirit. Sometimes i wonder if i would have been happy as a really butch androgynous woman and never transitioned at all. although when i started t again 2.5 years ago i was desperate to start transitioning. maybe i’ve just gotten everything i wanted out of it.

side note i also think i want to bear children at some point and im concerned about my uterus.

I'm not on T and don't really plan to be, I like being as hairless as possible (I shave my arms as well as legs and other places) but the one bit of hair I'd really like is a little treasure trail. I have PCOS and kind of get one already, but it's super thin. I used to just shave it every once in a while to trick my mind into thinking it's thicker when it comes back in, but I miss it too much when it's gone lol

Would there be a way I could only get more hair in a concentrated spot?