Success Stories or Advice for Career Transition
Hello fellow FIREy Femmes,
I wonder if other mid-forties+ femmes can share stories about how they shifted from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset and built something rewarding for their later life and career?
A bit of context: I (44f) worked hard since I was 17 and built a nest egg big enough for me to slow down. We have a 16x invested portfolio to our annual expenses. I know it's not 25x yet, but we can easily get there by adjusting our spending.
After being laid off earlier this year, I realize I want to go back to school - it was one of the happiest times of my life - and pick up where I last left off. I did a BA in psychology and interned at a psychiatric hospital; I always wanted to become a therapist and potentially pursue a PhD in clinical psychology, and later perhaps even specialize in financial psychology. What feeds me is meaningful connections and making space for people to process, feel, and heal.
I spoke with my spouse, who had a startup that I helped support as the reliable, often sole earner for over a decade. As he is now set up as a full-time employee working for a company, he is more than happy to support me - and asks me to look for magic and do what makes me happy
I am, however, and very surprisingly, struggling with the day-to-day. I know that I'm downregulating... I lost one of my parents when I was young; I had to take on huge responsibilities since I was ten, and this is why, when I was working in a corporate fire-fighting environment, it felt 'safe' for me, even though it might not be the best for my mental health. I think a lot of us who are 'good' at FIRE were in a position to learn that nothing is promised or guaranteed. That scarcity mindset is very good at driving us to FIRE from something, but I realize to live a richer and more fulfilled life, we kinda have to have also the abundance mindset to be excited about what we grow into as well.
If you're still with me reading to this point, I guess I'm hoping for words of encouragement. I am a little disappointed at myself that I'm still constantly looking for 'permission' to do this for myself. I know the permission can't come from a stranger on Reddit or anyone else, but from me. Yet, I struggle. Two quotes I read recently that I love:
- "The opposite of anxiety isn't calm; it is trust."
- "Courage is not the absence of fear; it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway."
Not sure who needs to read this today, but thank you for being here with me.
PS: to make sure my post is relevant to this sub, the formula for the FIRE-ish state I'm in:
- Learned faster than folks in my field and staying sharp in emerging technology fields
- Put in the hard work to develop technical expertise (although it is way harder with how fast AI is moving than ten years ago - back then, being able to do vLookUp made me an office superhero; the bar was way lower then).
- Stay grounded and avoid lifestyle inflation - multiple promotions later, I was still living with roommates.
- Maxing out 401k and budget monthly savings for investing opportunities (e.g., I had cash in hand when the 2020 crash happened - we put more money in then).
- If you choose to partner up in life, try to find a spouse who matches your values (spiritual and financial). I know it's hard to find good partners these days, but I'd be remiss not to point out that having a good spouse (and being single is better than a spouse that works against your mental and financial health) is invaluable in the FIRE journey.