▲ 40 r/Divorce
"He wanted a wife, not to be a husband" is a convenient way to rewrite history.
When people spend time (sometimes decades) building a life and (potentially) raising kids together, the breakdown is inevitably complicated. Reducing all that time down to a neat little script where one person was a saintly builder and the other was just a selfish taker is a massive cop-out.
Usually, it's not a villain and a victim. It's just two people who got completely lost in incompatible expectations. It's easy for one person to dictate exactly what "putting in the work" looks like, and then label their partner a failure when they don't fit that exact, rigid mold. It doesn't mean the other person was faking their commitment the whole time; it just means the partnership broke.
u/bytwokaapi — 23 hours ago