anal as first time having sex?
i (26f) recently had sex for the first time, and my partner and i tried penetrative sex (piv) at first but we ended up needing to stop because it was hurting too much (we didn’t use lube nor was there enough foreplay). he then proceeded to do anal. it was definitely uncomfortable and painful and i don’t recall him asking me for explicit permission.
with those who have done anal, does your partner typically ask for permission first or is it something that they just do? at the time, it didn’t feel like a violation bc i had assumed that anal was as common as piv sex but upon talking with friends, i’m realizing that it is in fact not normal?
on top of that, the 2nd time we had sex it was piv sex followed by anal again and that time, the condom actually broke which honestly shook me to my core.
in all honesty, it hurt less than piv sex which is why i was ok with it. however i realize in hindsight that, although i gave consent (responding “yes” to “is this ok”), i definitely should have stood my ground, especially now knowing that this may have been a violation that i wasn’t aware of at the time.
looking for any and all insight, thanks, i greatly appreciate it.