Aita for requesting my money back.
I (42F) was recently dumped by a man (49M) I had been dating for about six months. This was actually our second attempt at a relationship, with 17 years in between.
For context, we dated briefly 17 years ago. He ended things because, in his words, another woman "gave better head." We didn't speak again until a few months ago, when I randomly reached out to see how he was doing. He didn't respond at first, but two months later he replied, and we started talking again.
He told me he'd recently ended an on-and-off relationship that had lasted about three years. At first, we were just catching up, but after about a month he started talking about getting back together. I told him I didn't want to be a rebound and thought he should wait before starting a new relationship. However, he was persistent, said all the right things, and convinced me he was serious, so I agreed to give it another chance.
Things seemed great. We talked constantly, and I felt like we were building a mature relationship. During one of our conversations, he told me he was trying to rent a house for himself and his two adult children but was short on the deposit. I offered to loan him $1,600, and I clearly marked the Cash App payment as "Loan."
Around the same time, he invited me to attend a friend's wedding with him in Jamaica three months later. I was excited because I'd never been there before.
Over the next few months, our relationship seemed to get stronger. I flew from Texas to Georgia to visit him and met his mother, brother, and children. Everything went well. A few weeks later, he visited me in Texas and met my 14-year-old son, my niece, and my sister-in-law. He and my son got along immediately.
Later, my son and I drove to Georgia to visit again, and once more everything seemed great. We continued making plans for Jamaica, discussing accommodations and activities. He was even planning to go on a road trip to Kentucky with my son and me.
Then, during month six, I noticed a change in his behavior. Our conversations became less frequent, and he seemed distant. When I asked if something was wrong, he said school was stressing him out. I suggested we talk less so he could focus, but after a few days he said he missed our routine and wanted to go back to normal.
Shortly afterward, I had a medical emergency and spent four days in the hospital. He called regularly, checked on me, and seemed genuinely concerned. He even suggested I fly to Georgia before our Kentucky trip rather than make a long drive while recovering.
Then, completely out of nowhere and only three weeks before our Jamaica trip, he told me he wanted to be by himself and ended the relationship.
I was shocked. Nothing seemed wrong, and we had been actively making future plans.
After the breakup, I asked him to repay the money I'd loaned him and suggested we exchange any belongings we'd left at each other's homes. He immediately sent me $1,000 and returned not only my belongings but also every gift I had ever given him.
In the final days of our communication, after we had returned each other's belongings, I noticed he had neither mentioned nor repaid the remaining $600 he owed me. Rather than texting or calling him about it, I simply sent a $600 payment request through Cash App.
He did send me the money, but not without also sending a vile text message that left me feeling like I had done something wrong.
From my perspective, I gave my heart to someone who ultimately decided I wasn't the person he wanted to be with. As painful as that is, I accepted the breakup. I didn't argue, beg, or cause drama. I respected his decision and focused on moving forward.
I know I'll heal from the heartbreak eventually. What I don't think I deserved was to be treated like I was somehow in the wrong for asking to be repaid money that was clearly a loan. I wasn't trying to punish him for ending the relationship—I simply wanted my money back.
I left the text, this was out if character. And, I am confused like what do you mean "what this was"? Im just hurt, and really am wondering if I did anything wrong.