My success story!
I have seen others explain their experience so I thought I’d share mine as well.
I finally had PIV! (23F) Let’s discuss…
From a young age I always had pain when attempting to use tampons or trying to insert fingers. Nothing worked. I eventually gave up and avoided the situation until I met my boyfriend in 2023. After lots of time and patience, he managed to insert his finger inside. At this point I self-diagnosed myself with vaginismus. Bought a dilator set. I managed to get two small sizes inside until September of 2025 when my boyfriend pointed out two small holes that he could see in my hymen. We managed to take a photo and sure enough, yup - I had a septate hymen with two very small holes and a decently thick hymen. I then booked my first OBGYN appointment and was scheduled for a hymenectomy November 3/25. It was a successful procedure although awkward given that I work at my hospital as a surgical RN and seen many colleagues during my procedure. On my first post-op appointment December 3/25, my OBGYN trimmed my remaining stitches and tried to insert a finger. It was painful and he could feel my pelvic floor muscles spasming. After that appointment I started doing my own external pelvic floor stretches at home. On January 5/26 he still said my muscles were still tight. Officially diagnosed me with Vaginismus. He referred me to PFPT and cleared me to start internal therapy again. I decided I did not want to go to PFPT yet (no coverage currently), and that I wanted to see how far I could go my myself. I used all the PFPT tips that I learned in this thread (breathing techniques, dilators, stretches/yoga, heating pads/ hot showers to help relax my muscles before sessions). From January-March I dilated and managed to get to size 8 of intimate rose. I continued with dilators over the last few months here and there inconsistently.
Yesterday (May 19th), we decided to try PIV for the first time in 10 months after dilating and it worked (my BF is girthier than size 8 of IR set). We tried in a few different positions, some more comfortable than others. But I’m just so surprised it actually went in with minimal discomfort. This is coming from someone who used to cry over a finger or felt light headed when trying to insert a tampon. I think it will take some time and practice to adjust to his size now but I feel so relieved that all this hard work has finally succeeded. It has been such a long journey with ups and downs but this goes to show that you can and will achieve whatever you put your mind on. I can still feel myself tensing and I have to frequently remind myself to let go throughout each day. I wouldn’t say I am cured yet, I know I still have work to do but this is a major milestone.
I used to read so many of these threads and never actually thought that I would one day be writing one about myself! I was genuinely so convinced that his P would never fit inside of my V. I hope this gives at least one person the hope to keep going. I know it’s hard, it’s exhausting and such an inconvenience to our life but I believe in every single one of you.
Now my questions for those who have already achieved PIV, specifically with a girthier partner:
Any secret tips on how to make PIV more enjoyable? Recommended positions while still adjusting fully to his size?
Any other advice would be appreciated.
Thanks guys.