Shame about fetish in relationship
My partner and I have been in a relationship for about 3 years. We talked about our preferences and kinks from the start, so it wasn’t a surprise for me when he told me he has a nylon fetish. I don’t share the fetish, but I’m happy to live it out with him and learn about it. I am the first person he’s sharing this side with, and I feel very honored to experience this with him.
However, my partner has been heavily shamed about his queerness by his parents and always had the need to hide this side of himself. That shame sits very deeply with him, and re-emerges over and over again. So even though I know about the fetish and we have been experimenting with it, after a while he stops talking about it and hides it from me / comes up with white lies.
He says it feels like “starting from zero” every time. Rationally he understands that there is no need for shame in our relationship, but emotionally the fear overcomes him. I am trying hard to reassure him that I love him for who he is, and we talk about it quite regularly, but that doesn’t seem to stop the shame from coming back.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and has any experience with this, any tips, exercises or thoughts? Thank you all so much!