I've always said my worst days always come and go like a wave but lately it's been like a torrent of tsunamis that have rocked me. I am struggling to recover from one before another day engulfs me! I have found I've taken to looking at profiles in spite of the fact i try not to ever look at pictures. I almost never struggle this much anymore but I've really been struggling to go hour to hour let alone day to day.
I've got that feeling that I sometimes get where everything seems to pull me in. Work is stimulating, driving and walking at the beach I notice more than I should and I feel like even normal people have domme energy, even if they don't. It gets this way when its been awhile and I'm struggling between keeping up my streak of holding strong or giving in knowing that it'll help, but only for a short while before I want more.
It's been a month since I've sent to anyone and honestly I'm feeling like I'm finally past the worst of things. I'm not saying I don't still get triggered but now it's more that I manage to get some space from dommes when they get me to that point and bring myself down to a calmer space and honestly I think I am confident to a level I haven't been in some time.