young queer in need of advice
i'm an older teen (upper high school) who's been questioning their romantic/sexual identity since age 10. i thought i was bi, then pan, then maybe lesbian for a trifling moment. i've also had a bit of trouble figuring out my gender identity, but have yet to find a label befitting of my emotions (which is perhaps a post for another time). as of the current moment, i identify as a panromantic asexual, yet have been questioning my identity again for the past few months.
for a bit of background: i've experienced very strong platonic affection for peers/friends since i was a small child, and aesthetic attraction is something i'm all too familiar with. i'm on the neurodivergent spectrum and one of my main struggles is differentiating platonic feelings from romantic ones. i also easily develop these feelings to the point where i get highly attached to and obsessed with people. additionally, i get hyperfixations on fictional characters (in place of celebrity crushes), but more of a "if you were real i'd be best friends with you" than a "if you were real i'd kiss you senseless."
however, in recent years, i've realized that said emotions are commonly coupled with romantic/sexual attraction and a desire to preform such acts with individuals. i am, respectively, uninterested in and repulsed by both. i have never once kissed anyone and, despite dating people of many different sexual/gender identities have never once felt romantic attraction to them. any relationship i have been in was due to feeling starved for affection or wanting to belong among my peers (or not knowing that the attraction was merely strong platonic love). if anyone has expressed romantic attraction to me, my affection for them has swiftly dwindled; even if i did harbor feelings for them, those feelings dissipate once they express anything reciprocal.
i've expressed these feelings to my family, and while my father doesn't mind, my mother has offered me a very helpful "maybe you haven't crushed on anyone yet." my brother (transmasc) has difficulty relating to my struggles as he is attracted in every way, shape and form to those of the female sex.
to sum up this incredibly long yap sesh: my main question is whether or not i can properly identify as aroace, especially being not yet a grown adult. am i too young to know my sexual identity? was my mother right about me not having yet experienced romantic attraction? i know i'm somewhere on the aroace spectrum, but where is that somewhere? ...and thus, i turn to you, people of the internet, to help me in my self-discovery journey. if you have any stories i'd be happy to hear them and am eternally grateful for any wisdom you have to offer.