u/champagnecandles

It’s been nearly a year now since my ex (27M) broke up with me (27F). We had a four and a half year relationship, we bought a house together obviously now sold, went engagement ring shopping, spoke about kids, marriage and a future. He broke up with me 16th Sept 2025, 5th Sept 2025 we had just come back from a romantic week long holiday.

It’s been nearly a year and I have no contact with my ex now, our house sold, our shared bills all closed, he lives 30 mins away so I haven’t bumped into him, our lives are completely separate now. I used to wait for the day my ex came back and said he regretted it but he never has, I stopped feeling like that once I knew it was fully over. For some reason as time is moving on and I am now dating again, I can’t help but wonder if once he starts dating and realises its not the same, and after a year etc would he message me and check in, and express he hasn’t stopped thinking of me and wants to meet up. I don’t know why I am just fantasising about this all the time even though I’m dating someone new who I really like.

Is this normal has anyone else experienced this? How do I stop waiting for a message like this? Because I am really happy with my new life now, I think I just always wanted him to fight for me and realise I was special and a message would validate that

I am at the 9 month mark into the breakup from a blindsided breakup. We had a house together that we sold in April, and were together nearly 5 years. Since fulling moving out of house in April it’s like I’m going through a second wave of the breakup from when it first happened

Me and my ex ended on good terms, we managed to actually reconcile and become friends by the end of the breakup. And the reasons for the breakup from what he has told me was basically all down to his depression and just that he needed an out from his life. So our closure conversations he has expressed that he still loves me, that he does regret the breakup, it’s really sad etc but we have never reconciled with getting back together because I don’t think either of us wanted to and we had gone through this big change of selling our home.

The last time we saw each other in April, he suggested about seeing each other in May, I was really shocked by this because I thought once the house sell was through then that’s it. So since he spoke about meeting again I have been thinking about it then, it’s June now and he never suggested anything about it again so I messaged him and asked him if he changed his mind and he just said he thought I didn’t want to meet and it never got brought back up, I said it would be nice if you want to still meet and he said that would be nice that he’s busy with work at the minute and he’ll let me know when he’s free. Fast forward 3 weeks and nothing, so I just message and ask him if he doesn’t want to then please be honest and so he said that he’s focussing on himself and so busy with work it’s not feasible at the minute and he’s sorry

This has really messed with my head because he was the one who originally suggested it!! And it’s basically confirmed to me now that he’s done with me so I’m going through the wave of the breakup again as if this is another final piece to the puzzle of the end of our relationship

I don’t know what to do, I miss him so much. I think about him every day, I miss the life we shared together so much, and it’s been 9 months. I would do anything to rewind to this time last year and just relive one more day of us happy and in love because we were.