u/changing_totheRealME

Yeah I failed but not given up. Nina weak moment lo I was controlled by urges ( ardam aindi ankunta). Idhi chadavadanki ela undo nak telidu but chala serious issue eh so nothing awkward about it. Anonymous ani kadu, real life lo ee mistake ni public ga chepadanki I don’t feel any shame.

Ok ok ok ….day 03 start chestuna kuda adhi okarakamga Malli day 01.

Thagganu enni sarlu padina nanu nenu lepukovalsinde. Malli next life kosam wait cheylenu kada eesariki kakapothe next time Chuskundam ani.

So daily naa progress tho patu naa life lo jarigina few incidents share cheskunta just for refreshment. Oke genre lo endku motham ani.

Idhi oka “silent” yet smooth story :

Party lo friend through oka ammai parichayam aindi. Thanu Florida lo vero oka city lo undedi and adhi naku 2hrs drive. Matladevadni and thana sensibilities, sense of humor, p assion, etc I liked but never confessed. Felt too shy to even meet. So, vala city ki vellina I never met her. But nenu vachinatu she knows coz insta stories etc petevadni. Aa ammai ki ipatiki teliyanidi entante I always wanted to text her, know more about her, a non romantic date with her ila undedi to spend time and vibe together.

But naa shy ela undedi ante I don’t care or I’m not interested ani aa ammai ki anpinchela ( thanu chepindi okasari but apdu kuda I didn’t open up).

Edoka reason tho apdu apdu text chesevadni ( BS reasons like particular language lo movie suggestions, particular country vi food suggestions, ila just to have few mins conversation). Ala apdu apdu aina contact maintain chesevadni.

Thanaki kuda interest undedi. Kaludam ani chala sarlu anedi, oka excitement kanipinchedi thanalo different ga ( aa excitement ki Nen mohamatam padipoyevadni lol), movie ki veldam, beach ki veldam, inka few places ki veldam ani she asked many times but endko ipdu una line daatali anpinchedi kadu. Adhi anthe.

So ila ila distance perigindi. Now we live in the same city but aa emotions c kappesa. Simple and sweet ga unchudam le ani. No regrets.

Yeah after yesterday’s post, read few pages of a book and slept. There’s a clear difference in clarity level as I chose to read something before I slept rather than watching screen and some soft corn on Reddit ( yeshhh). Controlled that during morning too ( usually it’ll be peak during that time).

Fresh up - started focusing on my work - felt bit heavy but kept on going. Ala cheskuntu velpoya with a constant thought running in background “ee day01 Prathi day01 laga avvakudadu….journey aagakudadu”.

Done with work - gym ki ready ayya and inti baitaki ragane I could sense my lumbar spine issue getting triggered. Irojki aapedam ani voice ( which I felt lazy and comfortable ) so nachale aa thought.but can’t be an arrogant guy so alochincha…gym veldma odda ani. Pain relax aindi and OK UPPER BODY CHEDAM JAGRATHAGA ani fix ayya. Slow ga walk cheskuntu vella…chest ki manchi pump icha…on the way protein bowl konukoni came back home.

Dinner chestu im typing this. After this freshup - mails check - book reading and sleep.

Humongous progress em ledu obviously but mind ni adjust chestuna big hunt kosam slow ga. Coz I know what I can do once I get into my flow state.

Simple ga eerojuki idhe masataruu / madamuu!

Alright! Bit overwhelmed to share this BUT I will!
By title you might have understood what this is about. Right now my life is completely fucked up in every angle and wanna fix this now. Been trying since years but getting distracted for every few days.

Hitting rock bottom - getting up - again hitting beyond rock bottom.

Result : Health intensely fucked

Career brutally damaged ( In a state where I don’t know whether I am good enough to even reply for an email). Currently unemployed but got huge ambition so I won’t step back

No respect from family ( there’s love but as an adult you definitely feel like getting some respect too)

My girl says she has confidence in me but I can sense that she doesn’t believe the potential in me ( I can understand; that’s not her fault - but mine for not proving myself enough)

Peak downfall in my self confidence, positive aggression, never giving up attitude ( I think I still got some inside).

Right now I’m too brain fogged, no retention, no motivation, no memory power, easily distracted, no daily structure, no planning, no precise skill set.

GOAL : Get a 150K$ - 200K$ Job by year end. Sounds ambitious? No. Even there’s a possibility of 0.1% that means it’s “possible” right? And my dream company is APPLE (Aasa-Swaasa-Dyaasa).

My health can’t be reversed completely but I will try my best to fix it. (THAGGANU)

If these get fixed, rest everything will be fixed.

I don’t wanna do big things at once but wanna follow a daily routine which has these:

- planning my day the before night.
- Eat Consciously
- Hit gym daily ( apart from rest day)
- Meditate daily
- Apply to 20 Jobs daily ( as much tailored resume as possible)
- Connect with 20 new members daily ( Takes hardly a minute or 2)
- DM on LinkedIn to related field professionals ( 10 daily)

- Talk Minimal
- No self negativity
- Read 15 pages daily
- Build projects and Learn
- Extremely conscious about financial decisions

- NO PORN or ANYTHING RELATED TO IT.

-Daily Journaling.

Born in a lower middle class family, now our condition is upper middle class and my whole town got huge respect for my dad for his hardworking nature and his growth. From childhood I always want to be in a position where I don’t want to look the price tag etc. If I won’t be in that position within a year or 3; it’s a self betrayal.

Ultimately it’s not about the money - It’s about ME. Me trying to be the original ME. If required I will turn cold, selfish, rude but will choose my daily actions as consciously as possible.

I will post daily about my Journey. The day I land in Apple is the day I will stop posting. (APPLE is my current goal but ultimate goal is SOMETHING ELSE)

Nenu Ramudni kadu but hopefully Hanumaki naa meeda edo oka positive impression vaste chalu.
In this whole process, my only belief is ME, my strength is ME; devudni korukodam, mokkadam lanti ideas levu. Whatever happens, I’m not stopping. Positive aite credit 90-10 (God 90 - Me 10), Negative aite motham naade. Not trying to see God in idols or anything but through Work. (I was born on Tuesday so chinapati nundi hanuma ante special love anthe…cinema effect em ledhandi babu 😛)

WILL TRY NOT TO GET DISTRACTED.

——-DAY 0——