r/bondha_diaries

TW: I talk about loss, specifically the loss of a parent. Please scroll away right now if it's something you find uncomfortable or difficult.

The post title is an uncomfortable question I've had in a corner of my brain for the past 3 years now.

I can't imagine a life without my father. He and i have a great relationship. We are two peas in a pod. We are almost the same people. He is my person.

Dad came close to death about a year ago and at the time,i realised that he is all I've truly got. And no one can ever be my person but him.

The man loves me with every fiber of his being. And I'm not easy to love. I'm an extremely difficult, cantankerous, crazy woman.

But he loves me. Completely unconditional. He never wants anything from me. He just wants me to be happy and have a good life.

I'm not sure if life would even be worth living after he's gone but that's something I'll have to think about later because hopefully he's still got a few good years left in him.

Do I even want a life without him in it?? Idk. And I'm not sure. But he makes my world. I hope he knows that.

The one good thing I'm proud of in this life is I'm a daughter to a wonderful man. And I've experienced true love in the form of paternal love. And my life is richer for that

Asalu chala chiraku vasthundhi. Life lo work thappa em ledhu. Levadam, work, sleep, repeat. Intha chesina edhi time ki avvatledu. Any update, any update ani anni vaipula nundi andharu burra thintunnaru. Asalu nenu antha sleepy person kadhu kani ee madhya entha padkunna nidhra poinattu anipinchatledhu ( ofcourse time kuda vundatledhu 8 hrs padkovadaniki, weekends kuda aithe work ledhante padukovadam). Entha kashtapadina evariki kanapadatledhu, Inka satisfaction ledhu. Ee torcher na valla kadhu inka...

23 years software employee, Good company and salary (~2Lpm), Btech CSE in NIT. What to do next? CAT ( sep 22 ki close ayipoyayi applications🥲) , GATE ( IDK anyone doing mtech after doing btech CSE in NIT), MS ( avsarama anipisthundhi appudu appudu try cheddam anipisthundhi), switch ( try chesi chesi alisipoya, ippudu preparation ki time kuda ledhu). Em cheyalo ardham kavatledu

A while ago,I read something on another subreddit that got me thinking about this issue.

The incident that I read about was a tragedy and it could have been averted if the guy didn't go out of his way to help someone. He tried to help someone ,but he landed up in trouble himself unfortunately. The whole thing blew up in his face and he paid for it with his life. It's just horrific for everyone involved.

This got me thinking about my own experiences too, going out of my way to help others has only got me unnecessary pain and disrespect in return.

I find most people very performative, deep and calculating.

This is a selfish world and no one is going to thank you or acknowledge you or even respect you for your efforts or time or money if you are no longer of any use to them. I've seen this happen to so many people including my parents.

People use and throw other people all the time depending on what suits them,in that moment.

People use others for their money,time, effort or even for their physical urges.

You shouldn't be a selfless person in a selfish world. If you do,you'll end up getting hurt.

If you keep giving and giving,you will end up empty and no one is going to lift you back up onto your feet.

Boundaries are important. Put yourself first, always.

RIP to the person i read about.

Today my manager literally screamed at me on the floor. Andharu chusaru. Naku mind panicheyle. Asalu emi alochana kuda raledu. I just told I don't know and kept my head down. But Lopala chala kopam and ventane maneyali ani anipinchindi.

Already iddari tho rant chesa. Want to rant more

Nenu 3rd year lo unapudu naku oka crush undedhi thanu 4th year Appudu 1y senior than me melaga melaga thana midha istam periguthundedhi chusthu chusthune 1y aipoindhi.inka thana clg last day elaina confess cheyali ani chepi veli chepesa sweet ga reject chesindhi naku thana midha full feelings unai vere ammailu nachatledhu thanakaanna bavunde ammailu kuda nachaltledhu .nenu chudadaniki kuda bane unta endhuku reject chesindho kuda teliyatle.thanaki bf kuda ledhu.em cheyalo ardham katledhu any tips??