u/Low-Diamond4842

I have hit rock bottom so many times in life that I’ve honestly lost the count.

Every time I try to climb back up, life somehow finds a way to drag me twenty steps down again. Losing someone to death, backstabs, financial crises, unrequited love, heartbreak, career hurdles, you name it. I’ve experienced more than I ever thought I would.

And somehow, through all of it, I still managed to stay positive, kind, empathetic and somewhat sane. Not that I didn’t spiral badly, I did. But I always wiped my tears, picked myself up, and kept going.

But I’m exhausted now. Beyond words.

I have constant anxiety attacks. My brain never shuts down and barely lets me sleep. I overthink everything, replay everything, worry about everything. Even when everything is quiet around me, my mind isn't.

Honestly, I’m at the very verge of giving up on everything.

I can’t keep putting on this face of strength forever.

And if there’s one place where I feel like I could finally let my guard down and be vulnerable to the core, it would be with them.

The one person I loved.

Sometimes I just want to hug them for hours. Not talk, not explain anything, just feel safe for a little while.

But never mind.

They’re happy without me. They don’t want me. And I know I have to accept that, even if it hurts.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just needed somewhere to put all of this because I’ve been carrying it for too long. Tbh, I haven't processed any of these fully ever.

Never mind. Thanks for reading.

I've noticed a pattern on few posts.

Someone has a bad experience, which is completely valid, and by the end of the post it somehow becomes, "Women only like toxic men," or "This is how women think." Or "Why are Men like this?"

Why?

If someone broke your heart, talk about it. If someone treated you badly, vent. That's literally what these communities are for. But why does it always have to become a conclusion about an entire gender?

I've never understood the whole "women love toxic men" argument either. I've seen just as many men ignore red flags, go back to women who treated them badly, or chase people who clearly weren't good for them. It happens on both sides. People make questionable choices when emotions are involved.

And honestly, most emotionally mature women aren't looking for chaos. They're looking for clarity, consistency, commitment, loyalty and respect. The healthy relationships don't get discussed as much because they're... well, healthy. Nobody makes a Reddit post saying, "My partner communicated well today."

Also, women have lives outside of dating. Jobs, family, finances, health, responsibilities and personal goals. Not every decision revolves around men or relationships.

Your experiences matter. But they're still your experiences. They don't automatically become facts about millions of people. A sample size of five or ten people isn't enough to explain how half the population thinks or behaves.

Maybe we should normalize saying, "This has been my experience," instead of, "This is how men/women are".

I think we'd have much better conversations if we did.

I'm not asking this from a sexual perspective.

I mean missing them. Resting your head on their chest, being wrapped in their arms, holding hands, forehead kisses, falling asleep next to them, and just feeling safe.

For those who've been through this, what helped? Does that yearning eventually fade, or do you just slowly learn to live with it? I would really love to hear your experiences.

Is this how our story ends now? After 2 damn years?

I yearn for you so much, ganta ganta ki em chestunadu, ela unadu, idhe alochana, do I like ever cross your mind?

I just can't handle this yearning and pain,I wish I could see you, hug you, cuddle with you, you are the first ever man who I let this close to me in every sense, I feel so safe and comfortable with you, don't you dare think I can ever move on from that feeling, I wish you felt something for me too, but you don't, and I have to accept it, but honestly,it's getting so difficult to accept that. I love you my big baby boy .

I don't think the worst heartbreak is hearing,

"I don't see a future with you."

At least that hurts once.

The kind that stays with you is when someone first tells you,

"I've caught feelings for you."

You believe them.

Not because you're naive.

Because they're someone you've trusted for two years.

You slowly let your guard down.

You start dreaming.

You begin to imagine a life with them.

Then months later, when you remind them of those very words...

They say,

"It was a mistake."

"I didn't mean it."

As if those words never carried any weight.

As if they didn't become the reason you believed there was hope.

That's the part that shattered me.

Not because he stopped choosing me.

But because he unknowingly made me question my own reality.

Now I don't know what to believe anymore.

Were those moments real?

Did they ever mean what they meant to me?

Or was I the only one living inside that story?

Had a heated argument with a friend yesterday.

She was talking about a news story where a married woman with a child got involved with another man and wanted to leave her husband. The woman was later killed by her husband and mother. If the affair part of the story is true, I absolutely do not support it. Cheating is wrong. But two wrongs don't make one right.

But here's the absolute hypocrisy that annoyed me.

My friend has been talking for months to a married man she met online (initially I wasn't aware of it, she told me much later, and when she did, I warned her and told her she is wrong and that she needs to stay away from him). They've never met in person, but he has flirted with her shamelessly for a few months, which she entertained happily, and now blocked her everywhere, she caught feelings for him now, despite knowing he has a wife and child.

While criticizing the woman in the news, she kept saying things like, "How can someone do that?" So I called her out and asked what exactly she meant by saying she's different because she's not married. The man she's involved with is married, and what she's doing isn't right either.

She immediately defended herself by saying, "But he's not leaving his family for me, right?"🤡

I was honestly baffled by that response.🤡🚶🏻‍♀️

My point wasn't that the situations are identical in every detail. My point was that if you're emotionally involved with a married person, acting morally superior while condemning someone else's affair is funny.

She got angry, accused me of "talking like a feminist," I cut the call on her face to protect my mental sanity.🙏🏻

Man, I miss you so much, I am yearning for you crazily.

Your arms are my safe sanctuary, your hugs are my medicine, your presence is peace to me. But I am exhausted and lost in this game of hide and seek. The only way my nervous system calms down and rests is when I am in your arms, not sure if that will happen anymore. 🤧😓

He is my safe place, my home, where I could drop all my guards. I miss his deep hugs, those quiet moments. I miss wrapping myself up in his shirt.

I miss sitting on the floor with his hands wrapped around me, just lost in the music, forgetting everything else. His beard and moustache brushing my face, making me feel safe. I'd curl up in his arms, feeling so small and protected, like a little puppy finally home. I trusted his heartbeat, his smell, his touch, never thinking it was possible to love someone too much. And I loved him just as fiercely, wanting to protect his peace.

He'd lie on my chest, completely relaxed, letting all his weight sink in, totally defenceless. I'd softly run my fingers through his hair, kiss his forehead, as a promise to stay beside forever, and watch him fall asleep, safe and deep. I held onto that love, praying we'd keep it. But now, his words feel like a knife, cutting through all the sweet promises we made. He's distant now, calmly denying everything, saying our shared history, all that warmth, was never love for him. It's a brutal, confusing puzzle trying to figure out how his actions showed love, but his words just take it all away.

How can my heart feel so heavy and empty, like there's nothing but ice inside? I loved him so purely, without any guards up, it felt endless and completely open. I'm just clutching a pillow, trying to pretend it's him, drowning in the silence he chose to leave behind. I wish he loved me back, wish I could hear his heartbeat once again.

I just love you , and this distance and pain are unbearable, I am terrified of the thought of seeing you with someone else.

He is my safe place, where I could drop all my guards. I miss his deep hugs, those quiet moments. I miss wrapping myself up in his shirt.

I miss sitting on the floor with his hands wrapped around me, just lost in the music, forgetting everything else. His beard and moustache brushing my face, making me feel safe. I'd curl up in his arms, feeling so small and protected, like a little puppy finally home. I trusted his heartbeat, his smell, his touch, never thinking it was possible to love someone too much. And I loved him just as fiercely, wanting to protect his peace.

He'd lie on my chest, completely relaxed, letting all his weight sink in, totally defenceless. I'd softly run my fingers through his hair, kiss his forehead, as a promise to stay beside forever, and watch him fall asleep, safe and deep. I held onto that love, praying we'd keep it. But now, his words feel like a knife, cutting through all the sweet promises we made. He's distant now, calmly denying everything, saying our shared history, all that warmth, was never love for him. It's a brutal, confusing puzzle trying to figure out how his actions showed love, but his words just take it all away.

How can my heart feel so heavy and empty, like there's nothing but ice inside? I loved him so purely, without any guards up, it felt endless and completely open. I'm just clutching a pillow, trying to pretend it's him, drowning in the silence he chose to leave behind. I wish he loved me back, wish I could hear his heartbeat once again.

I just love you so so much, you 🫠, and this distance and pain are unbearable, I am terrified of the thought of seeing you with someone else.

I guess you never realised the depth of my emotions, the weight of my love, and prolly that would never change🙃

Anything wholesome, warm,cute memories with your loved one?

Why is it that we hear it from a lot of men around that they have that one woman who has got away and they miss her, how often do you guys hear that from a woman that a guy has got away and she regrets losing him?? What reasons can you think for that difference in the ratio?

Ps: I am not talking about the healthy relationships where the couple had to part ways ,due to external factors and neither am I saying women don't mess up, but we usually hear it alot from men than from women, that's my only point.

What goes on in your mind when you are a fickle minded person in general, how do you make decisions?

What does it actually mean when a guy tells a woman that he likes her, doesn't see a problem with her, spends time with her, caught feelings for her earlier, but then later tell her that he doesn't have any feelings for her and that he don't see a future with her?

This is a story of a woman in love, who adores her man, wants to be there for him always.

So, there's this guy I love, while I always have provided clarity, commitment, communication, I only received mixed signals in return.

I genuinely want to build a life together with him, but he doesn't want to, he has all good things to say about me, but he doesn't see a future together. He treats me well when we meet, when am right beside ,but as soon as we disperse he gets emotionally distant, cold. Both of us have our own battles currently, but this emotional distance, the uncertainty, the mixed signals are draining and sucking the life out of me, all I ever wanted was love, clarity and commitment, but now am left with no choice but to let him go and set him free.