story of a failed son ?
proper format lo rayaledhu , just wanted to tell what's in my heart
➤PARENT DYNAMICS:
AMMA (age 46) nenu thappa inko prapancham ledhu ,NANNA (age60)
ma amma nanna madhya age difference 14 years , 2005 lo jarigina oka accidental marriage adhi , to be more precise ma nanna ki marriage meedha interest lekunde , societal pressure lo ma amma vallaki wrong age cheppi pelli chesukunnaru ,thanu(amma) pregnant ga unnapudu 14 years age gap ani telisindhi , from then there is no love and affection between my parents
➤FINANCIAL CONDITION :
lower middle class/poor
dad : works as a postal delivery man (outsourcing) - 12k per month
mom : tution teacher for children upto 8th class - 8k per month (govt teacher avvalani thana dream, she worked really hard for it, but god is cruel right )
maa thata daya valla oka own house undhi , oka reku ellu which leaks in 2 out of 4 rooms in monsoons and feels like a oven in summer .
➤ABOUT ME:
chinnapti nundi i was a bright student 10th lo school topper , used to have best friends ,very confident , every telugu parent's dream child , intermediate lo 960/1000 ,then came JEE(seperate ga cheppali dhini gurinchi). 2022 lo 10th complete ayyindhi , 2024 lo intermediate ayyindhi.
➤JEE :
Inter naadhi oka normal junior college. JEE level lo prepare cheyinche faculty em pedhaga ledhu, just marks-oriented preparation tho two years friends tho saradaga aipoyayi. EAMCET lo kuda manchi rank raaledhu.
Tarvatha IITs, NITs gurinchi, avi provide chese exposure and opportunities gurinchi telisindhi. Intlo amma-nanna ni convince chesi, better future kosam JEE ki oka drop year teesukunta ani cheppa.
Coaching afford cheyyalemu kabatti Physics Wallah online coaching tho prepare ayya. First drop lo JEE lo 94 percentile, EAMCET lo 14k rank vachindhi. Ee scores tho average colleges matrame vasthayi. Konni reasons valla Maths ki kuda antha time ivvalekapoya.
“Sarle, 94 percentile vachindhi kada, next year inka serious ga prepare chesthe manchi NIT aina vastundhi” ani anukoni inko drop teesukunna.
And this is where the actual downfall started.
(First drop lo 14k EAMCET rank vachina kuda college enduku join avvaledhu ane reason tharuvatha cheptha.)
➤2nd DROP : (downfall)
12th tharvatha 1 year gap teesukunna ani relatives, society chaala pressure pettaru. “Malli 2nd drop ante inka em undhi?” ani, nannu intlo unchukunda vere oorlo maa penni valla inti daggara separate room rent ki teesukunnaru. Online courses, test series anni provide chesaru.
First 2 months baane undhi, but tharvatha loneliness hit ayyindhi. Friends tho connections levu, Insta lo andarini college life enjoy chesthunnaru ani chusi “Nenu wrong decision teesukunna?” ane self-doubt start ayyindhi. Gradually lectures aapesa, backlog perigipoyindhi, practice aapesa. Months tharvatha pen pattukovadam kuda marchipoya. YouTube/social media ki addict ayyi brainrot, low attention span, hatred laanti vatitho struggle ayya.
January lo JEE Mains 1st attempt raasa — 23% vachindhi. Intlo vallaki 87% ani abaddham cheppa. “Sare, EAMCET lo atleast 4k rank techukoni SRM AP lo free seat techukundam” ani anukunna. But malli discipline maintain cheyyalekapoya.
Finally EAMCET lo 44k rank vachindhi.
maa amma ki shock , "edhi nijanga nee rank eena ?"ani adigindhi , she is too innocent , i felt really bad about what i did in my second drop.
➤PRESENT SITUATION:
naa parents ki ekkuva expectations levu oka govt job chaalu , naaku matram chinnapati nunchi theliyani poverty like good house lekapovadam , family tho ookasari kuda restuarent ki vellaledhu in my life time , nachina battalu konelapovadam , constnt money problem dani valla vache anxiousness inka chaala unnai ela chepppalo ardham kaavtle ,evi anni chusi ela aina wealth generate cheyyali ane purugu 1st drop nunchi undhi , just oka govt job tho wealth create cheyyalenu , adhe some business , free lancing , monetizing art , lanti vatitho emaina cheyyalani mindset kosame nits kosam drops thesa, 4 years btech lo 1st and second year edo la money generate chestha incase set kakapothe 3rd and 4th year lo placements ki kurchunta ani anukunna.
kanni cut to pesent ap eamcet counceling lo raghu college vachindhi , eppudu naaku ee college lo btech cheyyadam waste la anipistundhi , exposure ledhu poni placement kuda levu , poni sontag aemina cheyyadaniki time freedom kuda ledhu , bayata tech market kuda em baale . inko 4 years waste avvadam kante naaku inkem kanipinchadam ledhu.
➤CONTENT CREATION :
NITS lo exposure kosam edhuku antha thapatraya padda ante ,i am really passionate about content creation , how creators make audience and build multiple income sources and i think the can do good if get a good college
the creators i get inspired from :
chandan cheripally , shaikazad 2003 ,outpero founder ,tharun speaks , mouli talks ,jasti , fashion verge ,ajay vision , poorvay . to start creating this type of content i need a good college.
➤WHAT TO DO ?:
engineering kakunda inka emaina unnaya ante , CA kaani it takes 5 years to become a CA and is really tough , incase complete chesina i might become good salaried person but can create wealth poni btech join ayyi tech placements ki kurchundham ante oppurtunities kanipinchadam ledhu pette effort dhaniki kante impotaant , naaku tech interst undha ledha ani thelidhu , etu chusina unemlpyment kanipisttundhi
whats in my mind , online freelancing , coding anni explore chesi SRM AP lo next year eamcet through 4k rank thechukoni seat thechukoni , i can follow my intersets and placements kontha lo kontha better untai ani oka delusion belief lo unna , kaani ma amma matram intha confusion undadam chusi edchestundhi , inka enni years alne untav , vacchina engineering college lo join ayipovachu ga ani , but raghu lo join aithe govt jobs thappa dheniki paniki rakunda pothanani na opinion
➤what i expect from reddit :
just telll me what you feeel , express cheyyadaniki kuda evaru leru , suicidal thoughts kuda vastunnai
