u/chaos_hunter_Gaara

Feel free to help me out with a question or two! 🦖 I might answer them in my first stream as well.

Gao-hi! 🔥 It's Gaara the fire kaiju here!

No, I still haven't figured out my debut 🦖 But I can't say thank you enough for the reactions I've received for my introduction 2 days ago! It was a so amazing feeling!!

( I'm sorry if this is overreaction, that was my first post and I'm still not used to social media. )

So what I want to say is that you made me really happy! And that's why I decided to share my vtuber story with you.

Like not lore, but honest facts. About me. Because I realised that the first thing in gaining people' trust is to be honest with them. And I want to be honest with you in order to be your best kaiju.

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>!I'm really introverted and I have social anxiety where I can't even look into eyes, even though, it has improved after I started to watch anime, and going to conventions, where I started to be more opened around people, and even bought something by myself. ( They were really kind to me and it helped me a lot )!<

>!I've stumbled upon vtubers after a day in school, and I immediately felt like that it's something I want to do and would do! The same with streaming. It felt like a heaven of communication for me! 🖤!<

>!So I spent my days thinking about what character I want to be and started to study about vtubers and rigging and everything. I realised that it's actually a ton of money, so I spent the next years dreaming....until one day I was like ,, I don't care, I'm gonna do it by myself!,,!<

>!So I drew my model, rigged it and started to practice despite owning only my scrappy laptop. I got a mic from Mama-kaiju for Christmas, that was my only savior.!<

>!I really enjoyed practice despite not being the best but I was really afraid that people would never like me.!<

>!I was always lonely, and I had no friends, or got betrayed. My strongest memories of childhood is someone stuffing grass and dirt into my mouth in preschool, stealing my hat in winter, bullies me, and put a ,,kick me,, sign onto my back.!<

>!After a time, I've became really emotional, and one day, broke my phone. I started to seriously struggling by getting aggressive at points so much that I (almost) hurt others. I one day threw away my pencil case and it almost hit someone. I kept running out from classes.!<

>!It didn't helped that I also experienced something ( which I wouldn't like to address due to the pain ) which made me to absolutely hate myself to the core, and just made things worse.!<

>!That was when I started to see myself as a monster, and a disgusting ,,anomaly,, which shouldn't be here. I even considered committing that certain thing. Our school had a great terrace.!<

>!The worst day was when I bought a hot chocolate for myself and rushed to my class. But I accidentally tripped over the stairs, and fell. My drink has poured all over the place. I felt really bad and went to my class anyway. When a random teacher came into our class shouting about the mess, I broke and started to shout about why they always have to blame for me and why they always have to make me the bad one. The teacher got angry at me by how terrible I am and wanted to pull me to the headmaster. I got so angry that I threw away all of my stuff and started to cry. Noone has helped me from class and everybody looked like if I was crazy.!<

>!I ended up cleaning the mess and I cried. Noone has helped me, only a guy who sometimes talked with me, but I asked him to go.!<

>!Another bad thing was when I tripped on the stairs another time, and I fell onto my back. I was really scared because it was really hurt, and I fell onto my spine. I also hurt my elbow because it was bleeding. Noone was there to help me, or cared about. Only Mama-kaiju was worried about me. ( My back was okay, it was just a bruise. )!<

>!A lot of time has passed, and despite that recently, I'm feeling better, I'm still crying sometimes. That I hate myself. That I can't change myself. That this pain will always be here.!<

>!My Gaara was the only thing that helped. I hold her little paw on my drawing ( I drew my character a lot ) and I told her that one day we're gonna be together, and we're gonna heal together, and love ourselves together.!<

>!So I really hope one day all of my dreams will come true 🖤 and who knows, maybe I learn to love myself.!<

Gao! I should sleep now! 💤

Gaara