u/chaotic_joy08

Does anyone else feel like since having a baby life is just one task after another, on repeat, all day. My partner and I will be having breakfast and he’ll say, ‘I’ll go for a shower when you’re done’, then he’ll be done and I’ll go for one, then he’ll do some gardening while I’m with baby, then I’ll do the dishwasher while he’s with baby, then I’ll do that bit of life admin on my laptop I need to do, then he’ll clean up baby while I clean up the table, etc etc. Whole days can pass like this and it’s like I’m go go, fucking go all day and my heart is racing and I’ve not even sat for a moment just to contemplate or breathe or consider what I want or how I’m feeling. I’d like to just be doing something without thinking about what the next thing I’m going to do is. Anyone relate?

I’m at a low point and want to get it out, to others who hopefully can understand or empathise with some of it.

Luckily I’m not super low mentally (I’ve experienced depression in the past so I anticipated that to be part of my postpartum but thankfully not), however I’m feeling a lot of overwhelm, feeling low energy, run down, emotional (like about time passing so fast, but also feeling bad that some days with my baby feel so long and challenging I kind of look forward to them ending)…

I’ve been feeling like I’ve not had a moment to actually process my pregnancy, birth or postpartum. I’ve been powering through (as you have to) and time is passing at a dizzying pace. My baby isn’t a tiny baby anymore, my life is so different, I absolutely love him to bits but it’s like I haven’t quite fathomed it’s all real. I can’t keep up, I can’t capture it all, I can’t catch my breath.

We’ve all had our first and second illnesses, and this second one hit me, my baby and my partner at the same time so it’s been intense. I miss being sick and being able to lie down and recover. I miss being able to do nothing sometimes.

It’s only been two weeks now of being sick but I’m so run down, it’s like I’m just as sick as I was a fortnight ago. I’ve got support from my partner and family came to help too but it’s like no amount of rest is ever enough. I’m out of balance, just getting by each day because that’s parenting and I love being with my baby so much, but I’m drained. I don’t know how this is sustainable but also don’t really know what other option there is (there isn’t one). Basically I guess I’m just parenting!

I don’t really let myself rant or focus on the hard bits too much because I’ve SO much to be grateful for. Our health is generally good, we are in a comfortable home, I’m so lucky to live somewhere that 1 year of maternity leave is normal and to have a loving, partner who can financially support me to do that. Our baby is happy, healthy, and he sleeps generally well so we get lots more sleep than most of my friends. I’m so lucky in so many ways!

But man this has been a tough patch and I think it’s just felt a lot because I know we’ll have many more patches in future too, this is just parent life.

Anyway if you read any of this thanks and sorry for the total lack of proper sentence structure.

Rant over!