u/chasingastarl1ght

I refuse to activate the smart feature because I do not want the AI function.
I've been unsubscribing from absolutely everything. Before, I didn't hesitate to join a newsletter knowing I'd be able to look at those when I feel like shopping without having it cluttering my inbox.
Now my inbox is absolutely unusable.

I genuinely hope this becomes the trend - maybe then the e-commerces will put pressure on google to stop with the non sense since it will cost them money.

You would never guess I have ADHD.

Nobody around me did. I've surrounded myself with people who all had their diagnosis long ago, I get along so well with the neurodivergents. And yet, I was the "normal" one. The one that, in appearance, isn't struggling. The focused border collie herding my sweet gang of ADHD friend-sheep group, the mom friend. The one with the big career. The lists. The money to fix everything. The solution to all issues. The big projects. The one that has their life together and a beautiful clean home and the folded laundry and the dishes put away.

And the tax refunds not filled out for over 7 years. And the string of abusive relationships. And the compulsive system to keep it all together. And the shameful pile of returns past their due dates. And the bad shopping habits. The panic attacks. The endless procrastinating until I almost lose everything. The frantic cleaning 15 minutes before someone shows up. The ruminating. And the very dark thoughts when alone at night because I could tell the systems were all about to collapse on me very soon. The fatigue.

No one saw the flip side of my life. No one even knew because I worked so hard to present only a polished surface, spin positively everything and keep everyone just far away enough that they'd never actually see what was going on below the surface.

If you'd asked any of my friends, they'd tell you I'm successful. That I've got my sh*t together in a very enviable way. They admire me! That I'm so lucky! That I'm their most normal/stable friend!

I recently got my diagnosis, I got really scared about losing everything and found a doctor willing to listen. They put me on Vyvanse. My friends are surprised. Some have been hinting that I just wanted a little cheat code to win further at capitalism. That I'm being greedy...

It's so frustrating seeing people with ADHD, women that know how often we get dismissed until it's too late... Doing the same things to others.

It also makes me sad about how some of my friends have obviously never truly "seen" me. Partly my fault of course, I've been hiding it well. But it never occurred to them to think that I've been hanging with them and following all the ping-pong conversations easily - and maybe I was also one of them? In 15 years, they've never seen the cracks? That the job hopping was probably more out of boredom and dopamine seeking than it was about career growth?

ADHD is strange and so many things will influence how it presents itself. Remember to stay kind to people who might not present in the same way as you... And also that birds of a feather flock together. You're bestie loves and appreciates you through your own quirks that comes with ADHD and has probably been very understanding throughout the years about forgotten events and interruptions because she had deep empathy for what it means to suffer through ADHD... Because she's had it too all along.