u/cheesymeowgirl

I used to work for a main high street bank in their call centre and these are my top 3:

1. ⁠The customer who cried down the phone because she lost money trying to get her bf back after he broke up with her. I used to work in the fraud department and she calls to say she paid for a medium to get him back. It didn’t work and he still refused to go back out with her. But because the medium gave her the service and it was in her T&Cs that the payment was non-refundable, we couldn’t help. So she screamed and said she would call the police on the medium and I lmao.
2. ⁠The man who said my voice sounded “youthful and sensual” and that it “sends shivers up his spine”. I had just started the job, and funny enough that was one of my first calls to be reviewed.
3. ⁠The man who said he got “scammed” paying for a sex worker. He paid, but left unhappy with the quality of the service. And then felt the need to go in great detail about how she was a catfish who “smelt bad and looked old” and now wanted a refund.

My ex (who is controlling) and I co-parent our son and I (F30) have been his primary carer since he was 3 months old (weekends and school holidays he spends with his dad). We are now heading into mediation because he is requesting primary custody.

He recently had an issue with me taking our son to Switzerland to visit my dad (who’s lived there over 10 years), over a passport renewal miscommunication.

Context: years ago when our son first got his passport (around 10 months old), his father told me I could proceed with the application alone when we were on good terms and as he didn’t want to contribute to the cost (he now denies the money bit). Regardless, I still included him on the application as the father and emergency contact but have always kept the passport at mine. My son has gone on holiday for years with it to visit my dad (with my ex’s knowledge and agreement).

I recently renewed the passport for an upcoming summer holiday to visit my dad and told my ex I was waiting for the ‘new’ one before booking the dates he had previously agreed to. He then became very unhappy, saying he wanted his parental responsibility “to be respected ” because he felt he had not been properly included in the process of a new passport and not been asked for consent or signatures in the application.

I reassured him (days of back and forth and goal posts moved and deep questioning on his end) about it being renewal and not a new application and reminded him that I initially applied alone with his consent and with him on the passport as the dad and emergency contact.

Eventually he confirmed in writing that he was happy for the holiday to proceed (with legal jargon and under the condition that he checks everything I told him with the passport office r.e the original application).

I then accidentally booked the outbound flight for the final day of school before the holidays rather than the next day. I informed him immediately, apologised and explained it was a genuine mistake. The school advised this would simply require a one-day unauthorised absence form. My son has perfect attendance and the school have raised no concerns as this will be his first unauthorised absence.

I am now worried that despite previously agreeing to the holiday, my ex may still move the goalposts (as he does to punish me) and will attempt to stop the trip legally (as I plan on going anyway) as part of the wider custody dispute.

How likely is it that a court would stop the holiday in circumstances like this and how long would it take for an order?

Many thanks all.

Hi all, I’d really appreciate some honest advice as I’m starting to panic:

His dad and I share custody of our son (6 in year 1) with me having him Sunday afternoons until Friday evenings (cut down to Friday evenings from afternoons by his dads choice). His dad has him for most half terms, we split summers and Christmas (half day each), and for birthdays we celebrate separately depending on whose day it falls on.

Our son goes to school near my home, has friends here, and his routine is settled. I handle school runs, clubs and homework in the week. I handle the dentist appointments and we share hospital appointments etc (with him handling a few more than me).

He is definitely the more organised, clever and switched on parent and at times has been overzealous which is fine because I am used it and have worked on my organisation on my end. I have possible undiagnosed ADHD with stronf symptoms but doesn’t impact my parenting ability. He does struggle a bit socially at school with making friends (and due to uniform issues which I have fixed).

We are currently exploring possible ADHD (possible traits like me) and I am doing my best to make more mum friends (as I don’t have many friends myself and suffered some mental health issues growing up and being bullied). I have been single since we split and never brought anyone around my son (I don’t date anyway as I don’t have the energy) or go out much on my weekends alone.

A few months ago he asked to come off child maintenance at a pick up offering me £20 more to do so and I said no (as I fear I would lose protection and he earns way more than me anyway so I need what I can get). He then made a comment hinting at taking things to court in that case, “to do what’s best for his child”. Then he asked me to only talk via a co-parenting app.

I’ve now seen that he’s set up a parenting plan and under the “living arrangements” section (it’s on some sort of court steps arrangement site through Caffcass which he told me to read) saying he wants our son to live with him 5 instead. (I think he’s been planning this for a while).

He has ended it with this “Both parents should continue to support (child) maintaining a meaningful and positive relationship with his mother through agreed and child-focused arrangements.

I have symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD and so I am not the most perfect parent. I have dropped the ball on his uniform and certain appointments and have never shyed away from that, and worked on fixing my mistakes with him. I have no idea how long he has been planning this or what evidence he has been collecting such as phone recordings.

He’s listed reasons like:

“He has a 3-bed house”. (I live in a 4-bed house with a living room, dining room and garden).

“Better schools near him and has been previously accepted into a good school” (they have the same rating).

“Good nutritious meals.” (Not sure what he is implying here and I have a feeling he will dig up every past measaage of where he has confronted me with our son telling him when he has had fast food in my care (occasionally like once a month).

“Our son not spending long weeks away with either parent.” (But he’s practically trying to do that anyway and he never expressed any issues with our half term arrangements before, where I would take my son to visit my dad in Switzerland on holiday or he would have him as requested). Sounds like he refused to come to any agreement or bring up his concerns so that he can spring it on me.

”He has private health care with his job and he and his wife work flexibly (I also have private health care from my job and work hybrid WFH 3 days a week)”.

“Our son closer to his half-sibling”. (Aged 1).

“Religious reasons with him and his wife bringing up our son with good christian values and him going to church.” (He attends church there on Sundays already).

The biggest shock is he’s apparently already applied to a school near him and says “our son was accepted previously into a good school” – I had NO idea about this and was never consulted anyway.

We live around 2 hours apart and take it in turns to pick up one drop off our son. He refused to give me an answer verbally on the schools behind my back thing and said “oh I am sure we talked about this” when he came to pick up our son. Then walks off and tells me to instead message my feelings on the app because he doesn’t want to argue.

My questions:
Does he actually have a realistic chance of getting 5 days a week / changing schools given the long-standing arrangement?

Could I lose primary care of my son?

Does applying to a school without my consent go against him?

I’m worried because he has more money than me (earns at least triple I do) and would likely use a good solicitor/barrister

I just want what’s best for my son and to keep his life stable and would be devastated if he took him.
He has also told me he wants to stay living with me (although i’ve never goaded him).

I am going to speak to a lawyer and my dad is helping there and got some organisations from a legal advice chat with family planning. I am not saying anything on this new app to him to argue, to avoid him using it as evidence and I think he’s been planning this for a while.

Any advice or legal advice appreciated!

Do you think she’s purposely not posting to avoid hate and false narratives or she just genuinely isn’t allowed to? And do you think she will ever post again? (Her feed). 🤔

Edit: I’m talking about on her feed not her IG story guys!