Hi! I’m a bio + global health adjunct major. I’ve planned out my courses, and even with the double major my courseload still comes out to around 3 classes a quarter.
Is this gonna look bad on my part? Especially if I want to apply to med school? Should I take an additional minor just so my courseload is heavier?
Thought it was fireworks but saw nothing. Is there a holiday today?
I feel like I cannot have a normal life anymore. I feel like everything that I do revolves around avoiding my anxiety or avoiding my panic attacks. Sometimes I can find a distraction, but as soon as the distracting factor is gone and my mind is left alone, I begin to spiral.
The thing is, I know that my anxiety is tied to a phobia that I have. I’ve been dealing with this for years, and I almost feel like there is no way out of this. I can’t afford therapy, I don’t want to become reliant on medication, and even talking to somebody is hard because I find my phobia rather embarrassing..
But now I’m just stuck in this constant cycle of feeling off, having a panic attack, feeling anxious, noticing unusual body sensations… over and over and over. I cannot go a single day without feeling anxiety or feeling on the verge of a panic attack. Some days are better than others, but it’s always there. I feel like it comes in waves, though. After a panic attack, I typically spend the next few days/weeks with recurring anxiety. In the past, it has gone away after a while, but I’m currently stuck in an extra long wave of recurring anxiety that I cannot seem to escape.
It has come to the point where I feel like my life is being consumed by this anxiety/phobia. My daily scheduling revolves around trying to prevent or calm it. I don’t know how to help myself anymore, and I don’t know if there is somebody that can help me either. In the past, someone had reccommended exposure therapy, but I feel like my anxiety is so bad to the point where exposure therapy would only send me into severe panic attacks and further spirals (plus, I can’t afford therapy).
I don’t know what to do any more. My daily life is being consumed by my anxiety. I can’t sleep at night, I can barely convince myself to eat, and I generally cannot focus on anything except my anxiety. I just want a way out of this. I wish somebody or something could help me, but it feels like nothing can save me..
Decision day was yesterday, and I had been having trouble choosing a school for two months now.. I ended up choosing NU because 1) it’s a private school with less people than the UCs and 2) I heard that it was less toxic than Columbia.
Still, even though I think I made a good choice, I’m scared that I may come to regret it one day. Can somebody convince me to stop overthinking this 😅