u/chickenisdumb

Today, after being on hospice for a month. My dad have passed. The hospice was very kind and hardworking. They visited every day and took great care of him along with the nursing home staff.

I want to say thanks for the hospice and nursing staff to taking good care of my dad.

My dad had a bad hemorrhagic stroke that destroyed 70-80% of the brain. He was in the jcu unresponsive for a month. He was then peg and trach in the nursing home for a year. Over time he went from a vegetative state to minimally conscious. Over time he was able to move only his right arm and leg. He rely on the oxygen and was able to breath on his own. But overall the progress stall and we move him towards hospice after a full year. While on hospice, all machine support was stopped. He lasted a month.

I made a couple posts here in the subreddit.

But my siblings and I have finally decided to go to hospice for my dad. My dad had a very bad stroke in end of April 2025. He was in a coma for 30 days. He got trach and peg and was transfer to a nursing home. Over time, he went from a vegetative state to minimally conscious. The stroke left his left side paralyze completely. He can only move his right hand and leg. I have seen him stretch his arm to scratch himself and shake his right foot. But he has gotten two infections and fought it off.

I am the only son who visits him. Sometimes my youngest sister comes along to see him. The other brother and sister does not see him at all. Although they decide to let me make the decision because they do not want this conscious for the rest of their life.

Although I have change the treatment to full comfort and met with the hospice and social workers. We have scheduled for all machine interventions to stop on saturday. Me and my brother do not plan to visit him since I know this will haunt us in our mind. However my sisters will see him for his final breath. I know it is the right and best thing to do for him. But why do I still feel so sad and guilty? I know that there is no right or wrong answer. He fought very hard to get where he is right now. He was only 62.

Well sorry if this is the wrong section.

It’s been a year since my dad have been in the skill nursing facility. A year ago he suffered a hemorrhagic stroke which left him in the icu unconscious for a month. He did not open his eyes until a couple days later. However he was transferred to a skilled nursing facility in a vegetative state. Over the months, he recovered in a minimally conscious state. The stroke cause his entire left side of the body to be paralyzed. He’s able to breath with a trach on minimal setting and fed through a peg. He still is bedbound and suffer infections through this very day.

I have tried to convince my two sisters and brother to let him go into hospice. Just when I scheduled the meeting with the social worker and nursing director. They mention that this is his new base line and he won’t recover. My two sisters decided to not go with this decision. My brother was bawling his eyes out however he didn’t care if he goes into hospice or not. The nursing director told us that they can change the settings and they can take care of it. We were even refer to a hospice worker. He is dnr with a full treatment as of today.

I tried to convince my sisters that he’s just suffering and not living a meaningful life. They do not visit him at all. I really do not see the point in continuing this. At this point, I am just tired. Their reasoning is that they want to choose the date. However I know they will not make up their mind.

I even hope that my dad’s body gives out at this point. Am I cruel to think of these thoughts?