u/chipchrome__

ok so there's this song , no lyrics. I know what it sounds like but I don't remember the name and it's driving me nuts 😭 all I can say is that it fits the category of Thelema by Øfdream.

actually gotta find 2 songs but one of them is not very popular so I'm not hoping to find it.

but the other one someone help me find it. it starts off slow and it speeds up and there's like a pause and then beat drop I think. yeahhh. need it so bad I miss listening to it.

can't hum cuz I just can't.

ok so what happened is that a week ago I made a post here saying how I can't stop thinking about all this and ofc felt bad for Celeste (rip 🤍) so I took a break cuz I'm not someone who's into crime stuff but idk this one just made me dive deep. maybe cuz it's a high-profile case.

normally whenever I hear any crime story (like watch an entire video) it keeps me anxious and overwhelmed for days. but I was fine when I first started watching updates about this but then had to take a break. tonight after the days of break I was watching a new update vid and oh my God I felt physically SICK.(traploreross was talking about the autopsy in a reel) my stomach started to turn and I had to take a pill so I won't throw up. I immediately clicked exit and stopped watching anything.

maybe it's cuz I'm undergoing treatment for MDR TB and ofc the strong ass meds made me super sensitive (physically, mentally and emotionally).

still just wanted to know if any of you went thru anything like this during this time.

ignore typos.

ok so I've had this friend since 2023. we were good friends and her sister (younger but my age)also became my friend. we were like a trio. this friend that I'm talking about is 3 years older than me. let's call her S and her sister G.

the first few months of our friendship went really well. we used to hangout and have so much fun but I used to end up feeling weird at times. like there were insults disguised as jokes thrown at me. mostly I let it slide because it was a "joke" and I didn't wanna come off as too sensitive. they used to make fun of my voice, the way I walk. little things like that. yeah it made me a bit insecure but it's wtv.

a few months later G made a joke about my appearance which was way out of line so I cut her off. it was like a breaking point for me cuz friends don't say stuff like that.

I cut G off in 2024 January. and because it's her sister S and I drifted apart + I moved like 15 mins away from where I used to live.

in May 2024 I accidentally deleted all my whatsapp images while uninstalling the app. so I texted her asking her to send our pics cuz however the friendship ended I didn't resent them. I loved the time I had spent with them but I also knew they were jealous of me. I didn't think that at first but my mom used to say that (still does)and even S & G's mom compared them w me (praising me and telling S that she should be more like me) so it might have made her resent me on the low low I guess?

anyway after I asked for the pics we became friends again in 2025 summer. everything was going so good. my home life sucked (major daddy issues and just sm trauma) I used to share everything with her and she used to be there for me. listen to me and let me vent about everything bad that was happening at home.

my home life sucked but my love life was thriving. he's my first boyfriend and we had just started dating in June so ofc I was telling S the cute and good things he was doing for me. how he's so caring and loving etc etc.

but S never really seemed genuinely happy for me. once I shared something about my boyfriend w S and bro the reaction. normally she tries to be happy for me saying stuff like "oh wow that's so nice when MY man comes into my life he'll do THIS and THAT for me " yada yada always making it about herself without just being happy for me. Always trying to one me up and even in 2023 it was like she was competing with me.

but this time she didn't try, she didn't even say anything. complete silence. to the point where I had to say "hello" and then she started talking about something else.

this bothered me because things were SO bad at home and she knew. and my relationship was the only good thing going on for me and she couldn't even be happy for me or just let me have my moment. LIKE EVER.

I still stayed friends with her regardless cuz yo like I genuinely liked her. I considered her as my sister. we were that close.

in September we planned to go to the Conjuring 4. me , my boyfriend, S and G.

it was normal. we watched the movie, had food there. and when it was time for my boyfriend to leave. I'll describe you the scene : my boyfriend and I were sitting near the stairs and S&G were standing infront of us at a little distance. he was booking a cab for himself and I caught S staring at My boyfriend with a smile on her face. She was admiring him. NOT looking at both of us to see how we looked together. JUST HIM. ADMIRING. SMILING. but I had caught that. and it was super weird. I still didn't say anything. I didn't even tell my mom cuz ik she'd confirm what I didn't wanna hear.

also mind u my boyfriend is 4 YEARS younger than her. he's one year younger than me.

anyway that happened, and I was stupid to stay in denial.

oh my God also whenever I told her I was meeting my boyfriend, this bitch always used to ask if we were gonna do IT. she always asked me multiple times where we were going and doing WHAT. too many times. more than my mom. when I told her we just hungout at a cafe and park,she used to question me as if I was lying. that was super weird cuz it felt like she was very much into knowing wtf was my sexual life like. (she also used to always touch my boobs which made me v uncomfortable)

she was also weirdly dependent on me as if I was her boyfriend. it was weird like getting mad at me over the smallest things and me having to convince her and all that.

anyway the breaking point was when I told her my boyfriend got me a nice gift and she COMPLETELY ignored me.

it felt so off that every little weird thing that she had done came back rushing to me. and I confronted her about it all and she didn't deny anything. she just cried. this was back in September or October I think.

and it hurt me sm because we were really close. we had good times too but these weird things were hard to ignore yk.

i was missing her alot but I didn't contact her. but in May 2026 I got diagnosed with MDR TB in my lymph nodes. I was shocked and scared and on meds and vulnerable. I called her saying this is what's happening and she was nice.

a few days after this her dad died so I went there, attended the funeral. yk as a friend I was there for her. as I should. it's the bare minimum. for a few days or weeks after all this happened and me going thru my treatment (still am) she was nice , asking me if I had eaten and taken meds and all that. I was also ok but I held back from sharing anything about my relationship with her knowing how she seemed like she had a problem and I didn't wanna seem like I was rubbing it in her face or wtv.

one day I went out with him and I forgot to check my phone (can't put into words what I'm going thru with the meds) so I texted her apologising saying I had a long day, went to watch movie with him and then my meds kicked in and I was dizzy and nauseous etc etc.

since this day she's been distant and honestly I do not have the energy to play these games with her considering my health condition. now I've stopped putting much energy towards her. she's closed off too but she's also going thru alot with her father passing so I'm not even thinking about confronting her or anything. I don't have it in me.

I love her but it seems like it's in her nature to not be able to be happy for anyone else. she's told me before that she stopped talking to a friend cuz her life was so much better than S's life. so I'm not surprised. but it is something that she still had jealousy problem with me even when I had sm shit going on in my life.

even when her dad was alive he never provided her shit. S & G worked for their education and everything. and my father is financially abusive towards me too but my boyfriend spoils me. when she got to know about that she said something like "if I want something I gotta work hard for it but you just get it"

and whenever she comes over and meets my mom she says she wishes her mom was like my mom cuz my mom makes her feel good about herself, motivates her and is kind. Her mom on the other hand , compliments me , insults her. makes her feel insecure.

idk. should I stop texting her (I rarely do)or should I try to keep this friendship alive? because me nd S are very similar in terms of the lifestyle we love, goals that we wanna achieve etc.

Idk why but I just can't stop thinking about this case. like first of all SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN HERE. he didn't have to kill her. if she had exposed him on the internet, people would've moved on by now. there are so many rapists walkin freely and still got their careers in Hollywood.

and how can he even kill her bro like didn't they spend years together?? how tf was he able to harm her like that and not only that but also the dismembering part like that was the girl you claimed to love WHO WAS ACTUALLY A CHILD YOU SICK FUCK

and I wonder how scared and betrayed Celeste felt in her final moments :(

the guy who she thought she was in love with, who was probably her safe space at one point in her life stabbed her to death. oh my God man may she rest in peace. she was failed by every adult around her cuz wtf u mean she got SAed when she was 10 by some family friend.