u/chompthecake

“Not getting it.”
“Lacking initiative to see around corners.”

These were some of the words put in my PIP at this time last year. I was at a publicly traded company coming off a weak quarter and after a VP insinuated that I should fudge some revenue numbers in my reporting.

About a month later, my manager put me – a classic millennial who is fiercely competitive and always wondering if I’m not doing enough – on a PIP on the basis that I am “not seeing around corners “.

Not gonna lie, that was quite the traumatizing experience for me, especially as someone who has always been at least the top quartile of performers. Luckily, my current manager who is the c level at a smaller private company was standing by as mentor and advisor and ended up offering me a role that not only matched comp, but greatly expanded my reach and influence.

I have thrived in my new role partially because this was one designed for me and my strengths, but also partially because I am dead set on proving to myself, and the haters that my last pip did not define me.

It has been a year now in my new role and yesterday, my manager set me down and asked me to be the program owner of a company wide enterprise migration initiative that may change the trajectory of not only my company but also my career.

For the last year, I have been managing small projects here and there, but this is something new because this is highly visible to the full C suite.

It’s funny how things work out in the corporate world. One moment, you are trash and considered somebody to expend and then the next moment, you might be given a career changing assignment.

At any rate, if any program managers have pro insights on how to maximize success of such a extensive project– I’d appreciate your perspective. For everyone else, I suppose the moral of the story here is that you should never doubt yourself because you never know what can happen in a year.

(and no, this rant was not written with AI. My 11th grade English teacher taught me the dash and I’ve used it extensively in my writing long before LLM’s existed)

We’ve been working together long enough where I enjoy fun at his psychological expense without consequence sometimes. Talked to the other chief of staff at my company the other day and it appears her relationship is much more formal.

Does anyone here have a house manager and help me understand what you have them do/what their comp is?

I was just recently introduced to the concept and realized you don’t have to be a millionaire to have someone run the house.

We are dual income with two little ones so our time is extremely limited. I’m very curious about what the possibilities are and would love to hear anecdotes.

I made friends with a neighborhood mom after our daughters became close (and now no longer close because 4 and 5 year olds are superficial). She was pregnant at the time and looked lonely- So I befriended her. She had her 2nd kid and she struggled because he had complications- he’s fine now. I showered her with support and girl talk.

She’s got a similar background as me: immigrant, slightly abusive parents, grew up poor.

But we do have differences: they choose spanking, we choose gentle parenting. We do well for ourselves ( but try not to be showy about it), and they struggle a bit more financially. We chose sleep training early and they CoSleep. All in all not deal breakers- because people who are different should and can be friends still.

We became close-ish for a while where she expressed appreciation for my support and we even had a cadence of a girls’ night for a while. But then things changed. Little comments about how they “couldn’t possibly afford” certain hobbies we have. Questions about what we earn. Less eager responses on texts where I check in on her. Weeks of silence.

I think I’ve finally reached the point where I’m realizing I was probably just used as a buttress for postpartum emotional support and that’s it. There was never friendship. Only emotional sapping.

Like, I get that motherhood is hard and people can’t always be there - in fact most people are there for a reason or a season but fuck, I wished I had better spidey senses for when I’m being used.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nova/s/V9S9CKrpsX

The original thread was somebody complaining about GrubHub and I was empathizing with their opinion by sharing my own experience from when I was pregnant – which was about five years ago. Out of nowhere, people start criticizing how I should’ve just eaten food that I made myself versus using GrubHub. For context, I had full placenta previa and was told to not stay on my feet for more than a few minutes during my entire third trimester .

In this day and age, people are still trying to tell pregnant women that they don’t know best and leading with criticism of “you should haves”

I will not be pregnant again as the shop is closed, but man, does this experience not only validate my dislike for the pregnancy period and how pregnant women are treated

We just joined. And then just found out KSL just acquired them last month. Greatttttt.

Are there any members here that can speak to your experience with them? Did we make a dumb mistake to buy in before finding out about the private equity acquisition?

Husband and I are shopping for a country club. We are generally unpretentious people but his love affair with golf actually puts us in a place where country club membership might make sense. So we’re shopping.

I just walked off a tour experience that left me floored at how I was treated - I hadn’t been treated this way in well over two decades!

For context, we are a dual income household and there is relative parity in our earnings. He’s your typical present, carries his own weight millennial dad in terms of parenting and partner duties. He just loves golf a lot. Neither of us have grown up with golf nor country club culture so we are experiencing this era of our life together.

We had already toured a lower-mid level club and liked it but wanted to see what the local “nicer” club had to offer. And the nicer club had a LOT to offer in both programming and amenities! But about the tour:

-The membership director only addressed my husband about 75% of the time
-The men’s lounge apparently has a bar and tv along with locker rooms and he seemed visibly eager to impress my husband and show him around
-the ladies lounge was literally just a nice locker room with roses. And plush seating.
-upon exiting checking out the women’s facilities, he didn’t even ASK what I thought of it
-the only times the membership director directly addressed me was regarding programming/facilities regarding the children!

While we have an adorable 3 and 5 year old, I’m left completely bewildered at how I was treated and even practically - even if the club does have old world misogyny, he couldn’t have FAKED treating me like a prospect that is considering spending tens of thousands with them? Am I in hell? Am I signing up for hell?

We definitely aren’t going with this country club but is this a normal, standard subculture thing ?

I have been in my role for about eight months with a lot of success mainly because I already know my principal very well from the previous role. In fact, he created the chief of staff role for me and tailored it to my strengths.

That said, the needs of the company has grown with some recent M&A activity and my understanding is that this activity will continue.

My principal is a chief customer officer, so I don’t roll up to the CEO. Title aside, he is actually a dream to work for, and I have had enough work experience in my life to know that a boss can make or break your career. Literally.

That said, the needs of the organization for cross functional collaboration is becoming more and more apparent, and the lack of this muscle across certain departments is also becoming more and more apparent. I believe I could easily step to do something like a business operations role since I am already doing the post acquisition management of our most recent acquisition. The question is, should I?

I might have a little scar tissue from previous very bad managers who used me as an dispensable scapegoat so my judgment is likely clouded. For those who have pivoted or have seen COS pivoted, was it from a self created role? Or was it one given to them? What were the trade-offs and if they had been 20/20 vision, which decisions have been made differently?