u/chompthecake

Husband and I are shopping for a country club. We are generally unpretentious people but his love affair with golf actually puts us in a place where country club membership might make sense. So we’re shopping.

I just walked off a tour experience that left me floored at how I was treated - I hadn’t been treated this way in well over two decades!

For context, we are a dual income household and there is relative parity in our earnings. He’s your typical present, carries his own weight millennial dad in terms of parenting and partner duties. He just loves golf a lot. Neither of us have grown up with golf nor country club culture so we are experiencing this era of our life together.

We had already toured a lower-mid level club and liked it but wanted to see what the local “nicer” club had to offer. And the nicer club had a LOT to offer in both programming and amenities! But about the tour:

-The membership director only addressed my husband about 75% of the time
-The men’s lounge apparently has a bar and tv along with locker rooms and he seemed visibly eager to impress my husband and show him around
-the ladies lounge was literally just a nice locker room with roses. And plush seating.
-upon exiting checking out the women’s facilities, he didn’t even ASK what I thought of it
-the only times the membership director directly addressed me was regarding programming/facilities regarding the children!

While we have an adorable 3 and 5 year old, I’m left completely bewildered at how I was treated and even practically - even if the club does have old world misogyny, he couldn’t have FAKED treating me like a prospect that is considering spending tens of thousands with them? Am I in hell? Am I signing up for hell?

We definitely aren’t going with this country club but is this a normal, standard subculture thing ?

I have been in my role for about eight months with a lot of success mainly because I already know my principal very well from the previous role. In fact, he created the chief of staff role for me and tailored it to my strengths.

That said, the needs of the company has grown with some recent M&A activity and my understanding is that this activity will continue.

My principal is a chief customer officer, so I don’t roll up to the CEO. Title aside, he is actually a dream to work for, and I have had enough work experience in my life to know that a boss can make or break your career. Literally.

That said, the needs of the organization for cross functional collaboration is becoming more and more apparent, and the lack of this muscle across certain departments is also becoming more and more apparent. I believe I could easily step to do something like a business operations role since I am already doing the post acquisition management of our most recent acquisition. The question is, should I?

I might have a little scar tissue from previous very bad managers who used me as an dispensable scapegoat so my judgment is likely clouded. For those who have pivoted or have seen COS pivoted, was it from a self created role? Or was it one given to them? What were the trade-offs and if they had been 20/20 vision, which decisions have been made differently?