r/AskWomenAbove40

I never say no to him. I always show my appreciation

If a DA goes no contact after saying that they need space, have you reached out first?
Should You reach out first?

I’m 22F and after a breakup 6 months ago, I just don’t think I can love again, I’m giving up. I just started a PhD with a scholarship (my dream), I got better at playing soccer, I’m intellectually inclined and learning all types of things, I started painting, Pilates, running, junk journalling, making new friends… Overall I’m so proud of myself because my ex joined the airforce and deserted me and I made the decision to break it off while I still loved him. I’ve done soo much despite grieving the whole time, I have made new friends, started going to a philosophy club, gone to my first concert and booked many more, written over 13k words for a literature review .. etc. I finally have stopped crying every day because I miss him or wonder how things went wrong. Then why am I still not happy ? When will I feel happy again ?

I also noticed the wrong patterns in the relationship and how incompatible we must be, how emotionally immature he is etc. Also, I didn’t even have sex with him because I want to wait for marriage and so I shouldn’t be this upset right ? We were together for 2 years but I never made him the centre of my life by sacrificing my own interests either. I did everything right. So why can’t I just let it go and feel happy ? I don’t even want love or marriage anymore but I still get triggered when I see my friends having a bf.