Self Conscious One Month Post LEEP
Hi everyone! I've been following along for a little while but this is my first post here. I had a bit of a stressful time after my colposcopy so finding this community before my LEEP was such a huge relief. Luckily I've had a relatively easy recovery—no major difficulties.
As I'm now a bit over 4 weeks out (cleared by my dr and feeling good!) I'm starting to think about sex with my partner again. I hope this isn't TMI but as it's been a while and I'm a bit anxious about the potential for pain, I thought I would test the waters by myself before attempting anything with him. I wanted to (very carefully) feel around a bit/make sure all was well but I was immediately really freaked out that I could feel a difference in the shape of my cervix with my fingers.
Has anyone else noticed this, or had a particularly emotional response to it? Any advice for navigating this? My reaction has caught me off guard. I know I'm healing and it's totally natural that my cervix won't be the same as before but I just feel so heartbroken and disgusted with myself. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm just spiraling a little bit and I'm so self conscious now that I know the evidence of LEEP is physically tangible. I just want to be done with everything surrounding it:(
I've always had a complicated relationship with obgyn matters and gender so this just feels like the cherry on top of my very poor relationship with my own body. Ugh. Sorry for rant! I'd appreciate any words of support if this sounds familiar!! 🫶