u/coconut_1989_

my teacher sent me notes and they had a mention of sexual oriantations. A junior i know, that happens to have used slurs and derogatory terms for queer people, was sitting next to me. I showed that part to him to see how he reacts but he just seemed confused. He didnt know what terms like sexual orientation, homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual etc meant. He didnt even know i was talking about gay stuff to him. He thought i was making a sexual joke because of "sexual" orientation, he was that lost. All he knows is slurs and derogatory terms for queer people and probably doesnt even know that these are slurs. Of course i have nothing against this boy, hes really young and hes either closeted and has internalised homophobia, or he really has no knowledge about what being queer is.

This conversation with him provoked a thought in me that if queerphobic people even know what it means to be queer. I think that queerphobia or any sort of discrimination in general sometimes comes from a place of lack of literacy about us and our experiences. Many queerphobic people are more or less informed about being queer, but still just not enough for them to have empathy for us and see us as equal human beings.

18m here. Ive been questioning my asexuality for years now. I do get turned on but i guess just not as much as other people? Or maybe the ones that ive encountered are just hypersexual. But either way, i just dont know if i enjoy sexual intimacy. A few weeks ago, i got sexually intimate with a friend and i was just getting really bored- i would rather just cuddle or talk about stuff. Literally mere dimagh mein chal raha tha ke "ab ghar pe daal bani ho gi, sath kabab bana ke khaun ga" 😭😭😭😭🖐🏽🖐🏽🖐🏽🖐🏽

Now im wondering if this is an average experience or if im actually asexual. I do know that lady gaga used to think of women while getting laid with men but that doesn't make her a lesbian, does it? Idk bro this is all just so confusing. I wonder if ill actually enjoy sexual intimacy when im in a long term relationship. My longest relationship was 3 months, him and i never got intimate. We did cuddle n stuff but no freaky stuff other than making out. I just dont think i wanted to, i didnt think of him that way. I still long for a relationship thats platonic and built on meaningful emotional bonds, but i suppose thats nearly impossible to find in pakistan. But yeahhhhh thats kinda it, its weird. I know that it doesnt define who i am, but i still wanna understand my needs more.

If theres anyone else that feels this way, i would love to hear your experiences. Maybe i feel less alone. People just say something is wrong with me and i know that they're wrong.

Damn that was a mouthful 😭🖐🏽