r/LGBTQpakistan

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I don’t really know how to explain this properly, but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I try to get help, and it just doesn’t really change anything for me.

I made a post yesterday and many people reached out to me. Some were kind, some gave advice, some tried to support me emotionally. I appreciate all of it. But honestly, after reading everything, I still felt the same. Nothing really shifted inside me.

It’s not that people are bad or that they don’t care. It’s just that I don’t know how to receive help properly. I think I struggle a lot with opening up in a real way. Even when I try, I feel blocked, like I can’t fully express what is going on inside me.

I have also tried therapy multiple times. Around 5 different therapists. But every time, I find myself unable to open up fully. I either go blank, or I talk about surface-level things, or I end up minimizing everything. So I never really feel understood, even though I know they are trying to help.

On top of that, I deal with a lot of self-hate. I don’t like myself most of the time. I overthink my past, my mistakes, and my identity. I feel stuck in my own thoughts and I don’t know how to move past them.

Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions of trying to get better—posting, talking, trying therapy—but nothing actually changes inside me. That is the most frustrating part. I want things to improve, but I don’t know how to actually let help in.

I’m not blaming anyone. I know people try their best to support me. I just feel like something in me is not allowing help to work.

I don’t really know what I’m expecting by writing this. Maybe I just want to understand why I can’t change even when I try different things. Or maybe I just want to know if anyone else has felt like this before.

Hello gayss of pk, my therapist Forced me to be here! I don't even know how to use this app or anything just here for the experiment. Idk maybe interact with me.if u're interested in really sad books, sad sad cenima, or if u're just sadd!!

I don't know if I'm a femboy or a trans girl and I'm really confused

Hi everyone,

I've been questioning myself for a while now, and honestly, I'm feeling pretty lost.

For now, I usually call myself a femboy because it's the label that seems to fit the most, but I'm not even sure if that's actually right anymore. Lately I've been wondering if I might actually be a trans girl instead, and I don't really know how to tell the difference.

I know no one here can tell me who I am, and I'm not expecting anyone to. I just wanted to hear from people who have been through something similar.

If you've questioned your gender before, what made things finally click for you? How did you figure out whether you just liked being feminine or whether you actually wanted to live as a woman? Was it something that happened over time, or was there a moment where you just knew?

I'm also not really sure where my sexuality fits into all of this, and sometimes it feels like everything is mixed together, which just makes it more confusing.

I'd really appreciate hearing your stories or any advice you have. Even if you're still figuring things out yourself, I'd love to know what your experience has been.

Thanks for reading. ❤️

Like the title said, I am curious how do you manage family expectations in a society where you CANNOT be gay because it’s against the religious and thus family values? How does this affect marriages like usually parents force their kids to get married when they turn 23-25 years old?

I’ve been living alone for 7 years now. At first it felt exciting, freedom, silence, peace, my own space. But somewhere along the way, that silence stopped feeling peaceful. It just became permanent.

I used to be the loud one. The extrovert. The guy who could talk to anyone in any room. I had energy for people, plans, random late night drives, pointless conversations that somehow meant everything.

Now I go to work, sit around people for hours, and barely say a word. Entire days pass without a real conversation. I reply to messages, send memes, react to stories, but actual human connection? I honestly don’t even remember the last time it felt natural.

What scares me the most is how slowly this happened.

I didn’t wake up one day and become distant. It happened little by little. Fewer calls. Fewer outings. Fewer people checking in. Fewer reasons to leave the house unless it was work. And somehow years passed.

The weird part is I still want connection. I still miss friendship. I still miss laughing without forcing it. But now every interaction feels exhausting before it even starts. Like my social battery died years ago and never charged back up.

I haven’t made a new friend in years.

Not because I hate people. Not because I think I’m better than anyone. I genuinely just don’t know how anymore.

Sometimes I sit there thinking:How did I go from someone who knew everyone, to someone nobody really knows anymore?

And honestly?I don’t even know where I’m going in life right now. Every day feels repeated. Work. Home. Phone. Sleep. Repeat.

Maybe this is adulthood for some people.Or maybe I disappeared somewhere along the way and didn’t notice until now.

And I’m not asking for anyone to out themselves or anything but I just wanna know if I’ll be able to find people there or would I be severely restricted to the straights :(

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I don’t really know how to write this, but I feel like I’m at a point where I can’t keep everything inside anymore.

From the outside, I look like a normal student. I go to university, I talk to people, I complete my responsibilities. But internally, I feel like I have been breaking for a long time and just learning how to hide it.

My childhood was not emotionally stable. My parents used to fight a lot, and there was very little peace at home. I don’t remember feeling emotionally safe growing up. Even basic things like having proper meals before school were not consistent. I often went to school and later university on an empty stomach and just learned to live with it silently.

I think that kind of environment changes you deeply. It makes you used to loneliness. It makes you feel like you are on your own even when you are surrounded by people.

Later in life, I went through something very traumatic. I was sexually assaulted by someonetat gunpoinfter meeting someone through a dating app. That experience changed my mind in ways I still struggle to understand. Since then, I deal with fear, anxiety, and constant uneasiness, especially around unknown people or calls. It feels like my body never fully relaxed again after that.

I also carry deep regret about something I did in a past relationship. I did something bad and i told the truth afterward, and the relationship ended. I have been living with that guilt for a long time. It is something I think about often, and it affects how I see myself.

Over time, I feel like I have lost my sense of self. Most days I feel numb or emotionally exhausted. I try to stay busy with studies, university, and other activities, but when I am alone, everything becomes heavy again.

I also struggle a lot with my self-image. I don’t feel comfortable with how I look. I avoid mirrors. I avoid eye contact. I often wear a cap because I feel uncomfortable being seen. I know it may not make sense to others, but it feels very real to me.

And the hardest part is that I don’t feel like I’m really living anymore. I feel like I am just surviving each day and waiting for it to pass.

I also have thoughts at times about not wanting to exist anymore. I am not actively doing anything, but the thoughts come and go, and they scare me because I don’t feel like I can see a way forward right now.

I don’t know what I expect from posting this. I just know I’ve been carrying all of this alone for a very long time, and it has become too heavy to keep inside.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time.

Never tell anyone about your secrets no matter how much they're close to you.

any discord server that i can join ??

Im 18 , and a few days ago one of my friends invited me to his house. Sme of his friends were there, including a few girls I went over and met his friends i sat there for a while, and then two of his friends started talking to me after some time, they kept insisting that I showed show them my dih they would just touch it i refused, but they grabbed me with both hands and took me from the lounge into a room they insisted so i just showed them and then the one started sucking it and i was shocked like wtf is happening but then i gathered some courage and pulled him away. Then they said they both are gay... So now im thinking did i become gay too? Or that little sucking doesn't matter???

Hello y'all!

I (26M) am unfortunately at the age where I'm being hounded for marriage or that I should start looking soon. The issue is, I am somewhat genderfluid or non-binary (I don't exactly know what it is tbh). Mostly I'm full guy mode, sometimes I'm non-binary (somewhat male presenting and wearing feminine stuff like nail paint, skirts, and frilly stuff), sometimes I get the overwhelming feels to be full female presenting. All at home, in the privacy of my room. To the world I am your typical straight cis guy.

Now the issue is, idk how to find a partner or someone who'd be, best case supportive, or worst case tolerable of this. I never dated in uni so I have no experience or luck there.

I know there's apps like feeld and okcupid abroad for stuff like this, but I have no clue how to find someone here. Any leads or ideas would be appreciated!

Looking forward to some solace.

Chat help me get my wife back. She is angry with me and blocked me. I love her a lot. I do not want to lose her. Please help me get my wife back. It's gloomy and dark without her.

I feel helpless. Lost. Forlorn.

white supports of the black lives matter movement cannot morally use the n word right? so why is it that gay men think that they've the right to use misogynistic disgusting terms that slut shame women and sexualize them just cus they're gay?

you're. still. a. man.

I have to tell someone because I am losing my mind over this.

So there are these two guys who live on my street, we're basically neighbors. One is in his early 40s, let's call him John. The other is in his late 30s, we'll call him Adam.

John never married. He still lives with his parents, while all his siblings have moved abroad. Adam got divorced a few years ago, and from what I've heard from my mother, he was never really into the marriage in the first place. He's the youngest in a big joint family.

Now, let me preface this by saying they're both ridiculously, shmockingly hot. John has this whole salt and pepper look going on, and Adam is just so cutie pie and I've had a crush on both of them for years. They're very close friends. Both work, but by the end of the day they're almost always together. Adam is constantly at John's house, and I've seen them out driving together countless times. I never really suspected anything, but I definitely wondered. I mean there are close friends in Pakistan, extremely close ones, so I never really dug deeper.

But about a week ago, I was coming back from a run around 10 or 11 at night. As I walked past their parked car, I saw them touching each other in a way that definitely didn't look platonic. I looked away almost immediately because I didn't want to be a peeping Tom of my neighborhood. Guys, I was internally screaming. I genuinely think they're together.

I'm weirdly happy for them. Also a little jealous because I've been lusting after both of them for years, and meanwhile they've apparently this whole relationship going on. I have this urge to ask them a million questions and somehow become friends with them, even though I know that's never going to happen, Alas!

The only thing that worries me is that they're lucky it was me who happened to notice them and not one of those self righteous, overly religious uncles, especially the corner house one, who would make their lives miserable. If they really are together, I just hope they're careful. I almost wish I could somehow warn them to be safe, but that would probably terrify them more than help.

Also, is it weird that I am monitoring them a lot these days, I am full on fangirling over them, istg. Life has never been this exciting.. but I should probably stop obsessing over them and pray to gay gods that they spend a healthy long life with each other... Or maybe they're just friends and I am overthinking about it.

been on reddit this whole week, have talker to some 30 people, everyone either wants a hookup immediately and the rest just ask such weird questions and make u uncomfortable, the 1% of people who r actually nice are not ur type and the ones who r ur type make sure they talk such shit that ur impression of them is ruined.

lowkey i know this is not the right space to find someone but for once i wanted to get lucky lol.

im so tired of telling people the same thing baar baar, 18 male bisexual this n that its so tiring

Often times I find it hard to find friends or relate to people here because it feels like 90% gay men. Thankfully trans spaces have alot of women which is great but I do still find it hard to find afab people, generally trans spaces are nicer and feel safer but I wonder why queer spaces at large feel so male dominated around here. Ive met more queer women than men in my personal life, its not like there's a shortage, and i wish i found more sapphics, or possibly more non binary people, It just feels a little isolating.

I do still enjoy the company of people I meet here, lets be clear.

Yup i am gonna go on ra*ist rant bec talking about pashtuns doing colourism is def racist but when they do colourism ,then it is not racsim and colourism😱😱.

they think that they are some superior beings js becz they are white ...like wtf bitch get a personality ....I see a lot of hot men daily and in general Pakistani men are hawwt and on average they are def above average ...but why tf u think u are some superior being js bec of ur skin colour while u looking like some inb*ed ...

I can't even recount how many times i have experinecd colourism by pashtuns ......idgaf if u give me hate or any threats but that is what it is ...

One time i got called "kalla " and I js ignored k it's js jokes but hearing this again and again by these colourist people...I am proud of my skin colour and I take proud and grateful in whatever i have wether this life ,whether the clothes I get to wear,or any moments of happiness

I can also be and I am proud of my ancestors ,my language, the ancestors who fought for this land ,my mother language, my land traditions ,my customs and culture but when I do it then why tf it hurts you .

At this point i have seen k they js hate everyone who is not of their ethnicity ...

They blame evrything on punjabis ....like how ...Afghanis aka the pashtuns from Afghanistan are the worst ..they think I am myself involved in the destruction of whatevr they had ...like bitch ...ur own country men aka taliban support oppression..ur men are in power in the form of taliban .

They don't even give women the right of education after 6th standard .why don't u raise ur voice for urself instead of blaming me and then using that hate on my skin colour..like wtf ...at this point these remarks don't even hurt me but they rather show how weak of them they are .. of morals and of character and of education and how they themselves are I secure about themselves and their own skin colours ..def the cumskins couldn't save them from being illiterate and jahil

This post is also specific the so called gay pasthuns ...like bitch get a personality...u can't be looking like a lab rat and be proud of ur cumskin ...

کوٹھے توں لتھی لیر نہ سمجھو،

مینوں ایڈّی ماڑی تقدیر نہ سمجھو۔

میں پنجابی، میں پنجاب دا وارث،

مینوں دلی دا بے خرید غلام نہ سمجھو.