u/colliesinsocks

Hi all,

I have recently joined a club and am a pretty broke student XD

After club fees etc etc,

I'm not left with much for kit.

I'm pretty savvy and will probably be able to find what I need for cheap, but I'm a little confused about size. I'm 6', slim, 28-30inch waist, size 11 shoe. I have fencing appropriate shoes already, and I can probably borrow a lamé and helmet from my club. But all the undergarments are so gross and sweaty, I'd rather have my own. I also need some breeches, as I am looking into joining the team as we have low numbers

Thanks for any sizing advice you can give.

Hi guys, I'm in a pretty tough spot.

Before I start I should probably pose my question; that being if our relationship is over/too far gone, or if it needs to end for both of our goods?

Me (20M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been having a really rocky time recently. I had for a while been struggling with a porn addiction, and we have not yet been intimate for the whole time we have been together (we have done sexual stuff, but never actual sex). This I take complete responsibility for. A mix of fear and wasted stimulation on porn made me not consider sex, she wants it, I also do, but I just can't seem to give it to her and keep pushing back. She knows about my addiction, and I have been doing research and some self thought and realise it is extremely destructive in relationships. I feel so awful for dragging her into one, when she had no idea.

Along with my first fuckup, I was drunk one night and decided to accept an invitation from another woman to make out. I don't know why I did this. I tell my girlfriend I was blackout, but I was 100% able to decline, no matter how drunk I was. We argued about it a lot (and she was well within her right and more to be angry) and we had since put it under the carpet, but I know it still hurts her and it has dramatically damaged her trust in me.

I think I'm not a very committed man. It's so unusual for me to feel comfortable, and I almost mess things up in fear of someone else doing it to me first.

I don't want to focus on her flaws as I feel it would be unfair weighed against what I have done. Sometimes she makes remarks and it makes our relationship feel very forced. A lot of the days she asks me to shower with her but I genuinely just don't want to move for like 15 minutes. She'll then go in on her own and come out upset I didn't come and acts like it was because I didn't want to. I did, but I asked her to wait a little. I know it's minor, but it's lots of little stuff like that that makes me feel like I have to be careful where I tread.

Just to finish, I am fully aware of why these catastrophic circumstances came. They are a punishment of my own stupid actions, but I don't want to try and fix something which simply cannot ever be fixed. I know this post makes me sound like an awful boyfriend, to which I will not disagree, but I want to focus more on my flaws and how I deal with things rather than stuff she does which makes me frustrated and tired. We talked about everything today, and she is waiting for me to decide what we should do. I just feel really lost. I really enjoy the good times, but the bad times are so horrible and make me miserable and often make me want to end the relationship. I'm not sure if the hard part for me is just ending it. Everything we did and said to each other means so much to me, but sometimes I feel like it would be better for both of us if I let her go to not hurt her anymore than I already have, and for me to seriously work on my handling of emotions and addiction.

Please do ask if you need any additional information. This is a very very light overview of the stuff that has happened in our relationship, and if it would help procure better advice, please ask. I feel so lost.