Struggling
I’ve been on Kratom for close to ten years. Honestly can’t remember exactly but it was just a slow escalation to 50gpd. Started taking it for a nerve pain after a catastrophic ankle injury, failed surgery and sepsis battle.
Helped a lot in the beginning. I had no idea it was addicting. Multiple ppl told me it wasn’t. Even my best friend told me to take it. Now it’s just an addiction I need to rid myself of.
Tried quitting many times always failed. I only was off it when I had to take family trips. By the end of the trips I felt great and was happy but when I was back home and had access I relapsed almost immediately. They currently banned it in my state and I only had a tiny bit left this Friday. About a days worth of my usual dosing. I spread that out til Tuesday when I ran out. Basically a forced fast taper to 2g doses a few times a day.
I ran out yesterday and I’m so uncomfortable, and anxious. I’m so miserable to my family. My wife is so fed up with me. She has moments of understanding and we sit and pray. Then she has moments where she swears at me and is furious. I don’t blame her. She should be tbh. She’s be telling me to quit for years. The worst part is that I’m not present with my son. He just wants to be with me all day and play with me.
I know I can’t go back. Idk I’m sorry for the rant I just need some advice or even just encouragement. Just felt the need to put it out there. Thank you all so much this group has been very encouraging for me. We’re not alone. We’re all on this journey to escape this demonic powder.