Husband cheated and now I’m turned on by it?
My husband (33M) and I (29F) have a semi-monogamous relationship. We’ve been together for four years now. I’m okay with casual flirting, threesomes or shared experiences. I’ve never struggled with physical jealousy—only emotional.
A couple of months ago, he went out with a friend, got really drunk (he never drinks, so this was a big factor), and they ended up having sex with two women together. He told me the very next day—we’ve always been honest with each other.
At first, I felt devastated, then furious. But he’s been incredibly supportive. We started couples therapy, and every single day he asks how I’m doing. I know he loves me, and I know a lot of people won’t understand this.
Here’s where it gets complicated: After the sadness and anger faded, I started fantasizing about him with other people. I touch myself constantly thinking about that night.
I’ve always had my kinks: exhibitionism, cuckqueen dynamics, submission, sexting with strangers, etc. But the thing is I feel my anger gets me going. I constantly ask him if he ate their pussy, if he liked their taste. I imagine his face, where his hands were. I even imagine he sucked his friend’s dick. I like knowing other women find him as hot as I do, or even men. Just writing this makes me horny. Am I crazy?
Not sure what I’m looking for—maybe just to know if anyone else has experienced something similar?