u/confused_girl994130

I’m an 18F, and I don’t know if it’s just me or if others also have this kind of fear. I just wanted to share my fear of spiders 😭

The first time I became terrified of spiders was when I was around 4 years old. One night, I was playing with my tiny red doll, pretending she was my daughter and rocking her to sleep. I turned back to check if my “baby” was asleep and saw a spider on my bed. I didn’t care much at first, so I ignored it.

After a while, I turned around again to check on my doll and suddenly saw the spider ON MY BACK 😭

I threw my doll daughter away and ran screaming “AYOOOHHHHHHHHH” at the top of my lungs. My mom, grandmother, and dad got shocked and rushed to see what happened. When I ran outside the room, the spider fell from my back. My father understood immediately and killed it.

That’s the first spider memory I can clearly remember.

As I grew up, my fear only got worse. Whenever I see a spider, I feel like throwing up 🤢 I cry, panic, and act completely crazy. I’m genuinely terrified of them. I even stopped visiting my mom’s sister’s house because their home is surrounded by trees and their bathroom always has huge spiders.

And then 3 days ago…

I was lying on the bed with my mom and saw a tiny spider on the wall. I ignored it because it looked small. Later, I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, I saw something move near the floor. I looked closely and saw a huge brown spider with long legs and creepy eyes 😭

The second I saw it, I screamed and ran straight to my mom. Poor mom was sleeping peacefully and suddenly woke up completely confused. I was literally crying and telling her:

“Maa, there’s a huge spider in the bedroom, please throw it away, I’m scared 😭”

And she was like:

“Girl, you’re 18… don’t be silly. It won’t bite you.”

I KNOW it probably won’t bite me, but I’m still so scared of spiders for no reason 😭

Meanwhile, my mom was trying to advise me while I was sitting in a corner crying like I had just witnessed something horrifying.

Please tell me I’m not the only one like this 💀

How does it feel after we say goodbye to a person we loved deeply? What are some things we can do to overcome it and stop thinking about him?

I tested my boyfriend, and he failed. I posted about it here, and many people told me to ghost him or break up with him.

I tried to ghost him, but I couldn’t do it. My mind kept going back to him again and again. When we talked about breaking up, he told me he loved me a lot and said he would d!e if we broke up. The truth is, even I couldn’t leave him.

So we patched things up again. After that, I never brought up the test thing anymore. I didn’t ask him about it and I didn't ask his Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, or Telegram either. In fact, he asked to see mine, and I showed him everything. Last night, we talked happily till 2 AM without any problems.

But this morning, everything changed again. From the moment I woke up, he started calling me bad names, saying unnecessary hurtful things, and acting like he wouldn’t care even if I left him.

At this point, I genuinely don’t understand whose fault this is anymore mine or his?. I don’t even know how to solve this relationship. Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m the red flag here.

​

So, I did a test on my boyfriend.

A girl offered to help me, and I agreed.

I gave her his ID, and she sent him a request on Snapchat. He accepted it and texted her “hi.” She replied, and he first checked whether she was actually a girl or a boy. After confirming she was a girl, he continued texting her.

She asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he said no.

Then he asked her if she wanted to play Truth or Dare. He started asking questions like “Are you a virgin?” and when she chose dare, he asked her to send a picture. When she did, he replied, “Oww, cute aanallo.”

After that, he asked her to send her current outfit, live snaps, and more.

Then I asked her to tell him to send his chat list. He sent it to her, but only after removing my chat, even though it was pinned before.

When she refused to send him an outfit snap, he removed her.

I told my trusted friend about everything, and my friend said I should just ghost him and never text him back. Since the moment he texted her, I’ve been ignoring him.

My decision is to never text him again anymore. I just hope I can actually do it.

Hey guys, I’m an F checking on my boyfriend (M23) by pretending to be another girl because I had a feeling he was texting other girls — in short, cheating on me.

We’ve been together for 1 year. In between, we had a serious issue and broke up for 4 months. Later, he texted me first, we talked everything out, cleared the issues, and got back together.

During the breakup, he talked to other girls and even told me about it. I didn’t really mind because we weren’t together at that time, and I thought moving on was normal.

During that breakup, I also made a friend who knew my whole story about my boyfriend, but we don’t talk anymore.

After we patched up, one night I was waiting for him to call me. I didn’t disturb him by texting or calling because he said he had stomach pain, and I thought he might be busy in the bathroom or resting. He had gone to the gym that evening and usually comes home around 10–10:30 PM.

That night, instead of talking normally, he started fighting with me and bringing up my past. I was the one who calmed things down. We shared passwords — I gave mine immediately, but when I asked for his, he hesitated a lot.

I logged into his account but didn’t check anything at first. The next day, while casually scrolling through his Snapchat, I noticed a removed chat from a girl. Something in my heart told me to check it.

I opened it, and they were playing truth or dare the same night I was waiting for his call. Everything looked normal until I saw one message. He asked for her size, told her he didn’t have a girlfriend, and called her cute.

I was honestly shocked. When I confronted him, he lied at first. Later he apologized, and I forgave him, but ever since then I’ve been constantly doubting him.

Now I feel like he might still be texting other girls.

Because of that fear, I made another Snapchat account since he’s very active there. I texted him, and he replied, thinking I was someone else he knew. He even used curse words casually while talking.

He asked me to send a voice message, but I didn’t because he would recognize my voice immediately. So I stopped texting and only sent random snaps, which he still opens. Now he thinks the account is fake or probably run by a boy because I won’t send voice notes.

I don’t really have friends I can trust to help me with this. I also saw those “loyalty test” reels online, but I can’t even try that because he has access to my account and would immediately know it’s me.

I honestly don’t know if I’m overthinking or if my trust is already broken. Anyone who has gone through something like this will know how heartbreaking it feels.

Also, if any girls here are willing to help me, please let me know because I’m really heartbroken and I can’t do this alone. I honestly don’t have anybody I trust enough to talk to about this, and that’s why I’m here. I really don’t want to lose him 🥺💔

(Sorry for any mistakes, I’m a little weak in English so I used some AI help for grammar.)