Why is this happening to me?
I don't normally like posting rants, but I'm lost. I've been working with Hecate for a while now, and it's been a rocky ride.
I have surges of confidence and importance, yeah, but they never last. Most of the time, I just feel apathetic or upset. I'm losing motivation. I feel like I should be doing more. I can't do the spells, I can't afford the books, and i don't have a safe place to talk about this.
I've been learning and growing, and yet it feels like I'm stuck in the same spot. It doesn't feel like anything I do is real. Half the time, it doesn't feel like I'm real. I feel like I need to perform and be this perfect version of me that I'm not. Every little mistake makes me feel like I'm less.
I trust in Hecate, I know she's there for me, but I feel like I'm not showing up enough for her, and I don't know what to do. I guess I just wanted to ask if anybody has gone through this, and if anyone knows why this could be happening?