u/crayon-rational2259

Vegan for 18 years. Looking for a concert buddy in the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area. I enjoy rock genres including punk, and various metal types. I prefer small venues over stadium shows but can have fun at either. I'm an easy going guy with a penchant for deep theories about the universe or just some silly nonsense. If you are looking to have fun going out to eat before a show hit me up. I'm just looking for fun at this point in my life, but if something more evolves, cool. Platonic is great - I could use a good female friend. Y'all are beautiful people for being vegan. Thanks for reading ;)

Any men here, say in their 40s or 50s that spent decades with their narc wives, divorced, and are done with serious relationships? I'm 7 months into a separation and will be divorced in the fall. I can't imagine being in another serious relationship, let alone getting married again. What hell.

Had some deep correspondence with me stbx tonight and it got me thinking this, tell me what you think: narcissists can feel and see things clearly, but only when they are about to lose someone. It would explain their behaviour, i.e. the discard and the hoover. They are so damaged, and so protective of their illusory self-image, that when they think they "have" you they can only serve themselves. But the discard and subsequent hoover gives them a contrast, which temporarily opens their insight into something real. By betraying, they see the hurt they cause and it validates that they are loved by someone. Surely only someone who loves them could be hurt by them. Then, they are compelled to hoover because they can't lose that. We often speak of narcissists as seeking "supply" as if it's static, but it's not. They absolutely need this contrast to feel something close to love. Summary: they hurt in order to feel love. Maybe this is obvious to some of y'all. Just saw it tonight.