I hate being a Scorpio I wish I was a Leo
I know this is a negative rant and I'm extremely sorry in advance. I understand if there's downvotes or anyone not really understanding what I'm saying. If you like being a Scorpio then good for you genuinely. I just have been struggling for years to accept myself even outside of astrology. It just seems astrology helps pin point this for me.
For years even before I knew about astrology I've just naturally have been a really emotional person, obsessive, intense, over thinker, worrisome, constantly think about death, and introverted. Once I got into astrology it honestly explained a lot about why I'm like this naturally but it has also caused me to compare myself so much.
Everytime I find myself admiring someone or wishing I could them without fail they ALWAYS were a Leo. I don't know why I was born as this. Why couldn't I have been born as that. They always end up being attractive, confident, positive and well liked with a lot of attention. (The ones I've encountered) EVERY Leo I've met they were rude to me and have always a sign that has without fail, bullied me. I'm always here... Constantly rejected, belittled, have never felt or been treated as pretty, and ignored. Invisible. Even when I have tried so hard to. "Be positive"... Why would I when nothing in my life has given me reason to be.
I feel so stuck. Scorpio rules everything I struggle to find beauty in. It rules everything dark. Anger, depression, death, destruction, lust, obsession, etc. Why couldn't my life be about surface level glamour stuff?? I have Leo MC, Leo Jupiter and Sun in 1st. I constantly feel stuck between my current identity and what I wish to be. But Everytime my reality stops me from trying because it's genuinely not me... no matter how hard I try.
I have a Scorpio sun, Scorpio rising, Scorpio Venus and Scorpio mercury. I'm shocked that I'm not a Scorpio moon to finish me off. I'm a Sagittarius moon with pluto conjunct it. Even Saturn in 8th house and 8th house North Node. Why so much Scorpio/8th house energy ... I don't know. It's so draining even as a child I've constantly felt this emotional and mental heaviness. If it's true our souls pick our path... I really don't understand why I would pick this. 💔