Nervous breakdown- bad time to start new job?
Loooong story but bottom line I took a promotion effective beginning on January and the job was too much for me. I have fully spent the year having a nervous breakdown. I’m on meds, got a bipolar diagnosis (unsure if accurate) and am functioning extremely poorly in all areas of life. I took 5 weeks of fmla from work and asked for a demotion and accommodations to return. I’ve been back 2 weeks and it’s hell. I took a 5k pay cut and am back reporting to my very supportive and accommodating previous boss, who isn’t making me do much (even though a lot needs done) but I am so dysregulated that I’m spending all day on suicidal Reddit. I’m humiliated to show my face around campus. I also hate the work, which is why I took the promotion to begin with. Now I’m doing a weird combo of old and new job.
Meanwhile, I somehow got another job offer and turned it down, but then called back and accepted it, for which I’d need to put my 2 weeks in on Monday, at another university making $5k more. It’s a longer commute and truth be told I don’t know if I can handle it either, would have been a huge blessing in march but I’m a mess now. Barely showering once a week (was never like this before breakdown). The job sounds a little more like what I’d like but my confidence is DESTROYED. I’ve been very suicidal.
Should I take the new job so I can leave the failure/demotion off my resume and hope a fresh start heals me? Especially considering another opportunity at this university is unlikely if I back out AGAIN after signing an official offer. Or stay where I’m comfortable and probably safe from being fired since I returned from fmla, but miserable and embarrassed… with a safe boss, albeit her retirement within the year. I must decide by Monday.