I’m forced to quit by my family and my education is put on the line. I had already tried quitting for eight days and I went through the worst withdrawals I had double vision and I was mad all the time and now im 5 days into quitting the second time and I can’t help craving it again please give me motivation or tell me it gets better I feel helpless
I’m new to alcohol and im experimenting with beverages, I tried ouzo it tastes like liquorice and I like it more than all the beers and gin and tonics that I’ve tried, any other suggestions based on that bias?
Tw for mentions of eating disorders/ bulimia and nicotine abuse
I’ve been suffering from real bad stress and mood swings for months now and I’ve been acting irrationally and always feeling like im on my last nerve. All day everyday of my life I have been dreading the passage of time so all I look forward to is eating myself to the point of discomfort and throwing it all up and flushing it with water till I feel dizzy and shakey multiple times a day. Everyday is the same old story; I tell myself im not going to entertain these thoughts in my head and the voices that tell me to waste all my money and time on food yet I still do it from morning to night and every waking second of my day that I spend away from people and in the privacy of my own house. I’ve exhausted myself beyond my limits long ago. The only thing that would get me to stop is popping in intense nicotine pouches and overdosing, this only grounds me for an hour or two as I am unable to move out of my seat without feeling disoriented and nauseous. I knew I couldn’t help myself any longer so the minute I booked myself a ticket to my home country (as I’ve been studying abroad) I also booked for a psychiatrist meeting.
Today I was diagnosed with BPD and depression, the latter was expected however bpd was never on my radar. I’m looking it up and reading up on it and everything makes so much sense now. It’s so sad though, I feel unfortunate. Everything about me is a disorder. It was the same for me when I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder when I was younger, I can’t help but think that im just a blank slate of a human being that is only ever capable of adopting traits that come along with whatever disorder I attract at a moment in time. Am I not deserving of living a normal sane life? I am just sad