u/czareson_csn

I really got annoyed at how Cannon handled it in Year 2 and everything going forward from there. Ig this ship can be classified as darkship because of the circumstances (MC threatened to rape the girl in order to test how far she is willing to go to keep her secret).

Their chemistry was the best in the Series by far before the author decided to go down the route of cool moments and Aura. Then the series went kinda downhill and the ship may be dead now(i say may because there are some hints, but it could easily be people reading too deep into it). It really quite a touching story before Author decided that the MC shouldn't get any emotional development, which was one of his main motivations in the first place.

I also feel like 70% of the fanfic of this ship disapeared, which is even sadder, the ship was at it's peak in like 2021 i think.

I had invited Kei to come to my room tonight, now I'm waiting for her to make her appearance. Looking at the mirror in front of me, I wondered, should I look nervous right now? If I was anyone else, I suppose that would have been the case. The emotions that would cause this kind of reaction weren't present within me. They had to be abandoned, buried deep within me to survive, yet they were the very thing I wanted to get back the most. I doubted it would be possible, who's to say that place hadn’t ensured those emotions would never exist again?

Still, it would be more foolish for me to not try to get them back. People say that love is the most powerful emotion there is, I had no way of knowing whether that was the case, of course. This didn't mean I wasn't curious about that fact.

A knock on the door took me out of my thoughts, knowing who the visitor was, I hurriedly opened the door and let her through. The sight of Kei wearing a blue dress that reached her knees greeted me.

“So, what did you want to tell me?”

Kei looked at me, frowning, as I stayed silent.

Even though I was the one who called her out, I couldn’t say anything. 

“What are you talking about?”

“No, what do you mean? Didn’t you say you remembered what you wanted to say?”

“Well, now that you mention it, that is true.”

“……”

“……”

Listening to my vague words, Kei’s displeasure intensified.

“That’s why I’m asking, what did you want to say?”

“Alright, you don’t have to be so hasty.”

“I just told you, I’m eating out with my friends at 7 o’clock at Keyaki mall. Understand?”

“There’s still plenty of time, it’s fine.”

“This is giving me a bad feeling, you know? You’re speaking nonsense.”

Kei started feeling a little suspicious because I was acting a little differently than usual.

“…Right, I’ve got something to tell you.”

Since I stayed silent, Kei started to complain.

“Something you got to tell me?”

To be honest, I didn’t know what Kei wanted to say, so I decided to ask her.

“Sato-san is suspicious about our relationship.”

Sato——We haven’t been in much contact recently, but she was a classmate who liked me.

“I thought she would hate me because I rejected her. What do you mean?”

“She tried to get me to admit that I broke up with Hirata-kun to date you, in a roundabout way.”

That is to say that even if Sato wasn’t direct about it, her intentions could be understood through her words that way.

“Of course I denied it, but I’m not sure if she believed me.”

“I see. Something similar happened on my side too.”

“Huh? Something similar?”

“Matsushita also has various doubts about my relationship with you. Mainly about whether I was dating you or not.”

I reported the conversation from a few days ago, and after hearing it, Kei’s face turned pale.

“Eh? What? Are you lying? Is this true? Are you joking?”

I nodded to show that I was serious, and began to explain the whole story.

I told her about how Matsushita-san also hid her true abilities, about her observations which raised doubts about our relationship, and her doubts regarding my true strength.

“Wa-wait. I can’t keep up with all this.”

Kei, who looked like she had a headache, placed her hand on her forehead.

“I have a bad feeling about this… What do you think?”

After understanding the situation, Kei asked me about my thoughts on it. No, she was seeking a solution.

Since this was partially related to why I called her over, it’s better to honestly tell her.

“I think it’s fine to leave it alone?”

“No, no, that’s not okay! Besides, there’s nothing between us at all!”

“So you’re saying that you dislike people thinking there’s a relationship between us despite it obviously not being true? Even if Matsushita spreads rumors about it, why not just let her?”

“Huh? Letting her say whatever she wants… We can’t ignore that kind of thing. You should go to her now and tell her that there’s nothing going on between me and you”

“Going to talk to Matsushita now would only be counterproductive.”

“You knew this from the start, right?… So why did you half-ass the lie?”

“No matter what I say, the situation won’t change. Isn’t Sato also dubious about my relationship with you? If so, then Matsushita, who is close to Sato, would have heard from Sato that my relationship with you was unusual sooner or later. No, it’s highly likely that she took action after she was informed by Sato.”

It should be thought that she only contacted me after she learned of the situation from the students around her.

“….That, that’s possible… but…”

After that, contacting Kei was inevitable.

Even if I strongly denied it this time, it would only confirm their suspicions next time.

If they found out I was lying, they might spread the news.

In that case, drawing the enemy to your side early on would be more beneficial for the future.

But the thing Kei was upset about didn’t seem to be about this.

“But… if someone said that I broke up with Hirata to, well, to date you… Rumours would not only spread within the class, but throughout the whole school as well… That would be a huge pain, you know.”

“Why would it be a pain?”

“Because, if a rumour like that spread… It would really affect me.”

Kei relentlessly expressed her dissatisfaction, not letting go of this.

“Get it? No matter what gender you are, if you’ve got a scandal with the opposite sex, the chances someone approaching you would be a lot lower.”

Understood? Kei held her index finger in front of me.

“So, in other words, I’m hindering you from getting a new boyfriend?”

“…Exactly.”

Even from the third perspective, you could understand what she was saying. Just like how when it was revealed that Sudo liked Horikita, it made it harder to approach Horikita. Something like that.

“Do you really understand? Are you listening?”

Kei continued, thinking that I still didn’t understand.

“You…are close with this Shiina?”

“Shiina? Ah, are you talking about Hiyori?”

“Hiyo….!?”

She was one of the few people who I called by their first name.

Of course, I also called Kei, Haruka, and Airi by their first names.

She should know this first hand.

However, it seemed like Kei didn’t expect me to have this kind of relationship with someone outside of our class.

“We’re pretty close, after all, we both like reading books. What about it?”

After saying that, Kei’s face changed color.

“Eh… so you’ve got the same interests huh… Reading books….hmm…hmmm. That’s completely different from me.”

Indeed, Kei and Hiyori had completely different personalities. She knew that herself.

“And so?”

“…Nothing, it’s just… Argh, that’s enough! You’re making me forget what I wanted to say!”

Kei got angry, raised her arms, and looked away.

After she calmed herself, she quickly started talking again. 

“If the rumour with me spread, Shiina-san, then it would be harder for you to get closer to her, right?”

“I see, that’s a possibility.”

I admitted this, and then Kei stood up.

“I don’t care, whoever you want to get closer to is up to you.”

After saying this, Kei turned around.

“I’m sorry, we should stop now… talking about this… I want to get to Keyaki mall earlier since there might be boys from the other classes coming as well. In order to quell these rumours, I need to be motivated. I don’t have the time to help you.”

“Motivated?”

“Since I’ve broken up with Hirata-kun, I want to find a new boyfriend. Got a problem?”

“No.”

“…Right? So now I have to go.”

It seems like I overdid the teasing.

I stood up as well. Kei thought that I was going to see her off.

“You don’t need to, it’s okay.”

Facing the tone of strong rejection, I called out Kei’s name.

“Kei.”

“Seriously, now what?”

“If you don’t like it, then just ignore it.”

“Huh?”

After responding in disbelief, she paid heavy attention to what I was going to say next.

“Will you go out with me?”

“Eh?”

Kei frowned, not understanding what i meant. She looked back at me, eyes overflowing with doubt.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I'm asking whether you'd like to be my girlfriend”

I could see Kei’s face turn into scarlet shade of red from embarrassment caused by this question. Naturally i waited for her to compose herself. After she did so however, she started to look skeptical of my confession.

“Kiyotaka, are you being serious? I’ve known you for a bit too long believe that you actually have feeling for me.” Kei uttered those words with ragged breath.

“Yes, so, do you want to go out with me?” I asked her again in the calm tone.

“I don’t believe you, it feels like you’re just going to use my feelings in some way, right? You realized I’ve developed feelings for you, and you wanted to use them for something didn’t you?” Kei looked at me with her sharp eyes, her voice shaky as she spoke. It looked like she might break down any second at this point. I suppose I underestimated how much she understood me. I had to somehow salvage this situation.

I wonder if I told her the truth, would she accept? She knew me quite well, more than I could imagine, She was also someone i could trust the most in this school, loosing her would be quite terrible for me all things considered.

Should I place the same trust she had in me in her? From her point of view, just simply accepting would be the optimal solution for a parasite like her. Or she might have developed in this time more than I anticipated she would and this wasn’t just a bad decision from her? I had no way of telling.

I came to this school to experience normal life and change from the blank slate that the white room made me into. What if it’s impossible to do so without taking a leap of faith. Due to Manabu’s words i already decided to try harder in this school, something that a me from a year ago wouldn’t even think of doing. A change is possible, so maybe, maybe, i should be honest with her in regard to my actual intentions.

She had already agreed to do everything I asked of her, this could be just an extension to our partnership. She would be protected, and i learn what an relationship is all about. Even if she knows I don’t actually love her, Kei still loves me, I confirmed that through as many methods I could that this was the case. There’s no reason as to why she wouldn’t treat me as an actual boyfriend, especially if it could make me fall in love with her.

Who knows, maybe this could actually happen, maybe I’d be more likely to actually understand love in this scenario, than in one where Kei fully believes i truly love her, a relationship built on lies.

Perhaps this is what’s for the best.

“You’re right, I just wanted to learn what it’s like to be in a relationship, and you, as the one who I trust the most, were the best candidate for that”

Kei’s shoulders trembled visibly. For a moment I thought she might actually cry, or maybe even slap me across the face. Her eyes were glistening, and her lips pressed into a thin, shaky line.

But instead of exploding, she let out a weak, bitter laugh that didn’t sound like her at all. It was hollow. Almost painful to hear.

“…I knew it. Of course, I knew it.” She wiped roughly at the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand, smudging a bit of her makeup. “I knew you’d say something like that eventually. Cold, logical, and straight to the point. You really are the worst, Kiyotaka. The absolute worst.”

She looked away for a few seconds, breathing unsteadily, as if trying to stop herself from falling apart right in front of me. When she turned back, her voice was quieter, but still shaky.

“I’ve liked you for a while now… even though I knew it was stupid. Even though I knew someone like you probably couldn’t feel the same way. And now you’re standing here, basically admitting you just want to ‘learn’ from me like I’m some kind of test subject.” Another bitter chuckle escaped her. “It hurts. It really does. But… at least you’re not lying to my face about it. That’s more than I expected from you.”

Kei took a slow, deep breath, hugging her arms around herself like she was trying to hold everything in.

“…Fine. I’ll go out with you. I’ll be your girlfriend, or whatever you want to call it. But I have one condition.” Her eyes locked onto mine with surprising intensity, even through the tears she was fighting back. “Never lie to me. Not even once. Tell me what you actually think — even if it’s cruel, even if it’s cold, even if you know it’ll hurt me. Don’t try to spare my feelings or say what you think I want to hear. Can you promise me that? If you can’t… then forget it. I’d rather end this right here.”

I didn’t hesitate to reply.

“I promise,” I said. “I will be honest with you from now on.”

Obviously I couldn’t tell her everything — not about my past, not about the White Room. But that didn’t matter right now. Those things weren’t relevant to this conversation.

I tried to appear as sincere as possible, looking straight into her purple eyes. They were filled with uncertainty, searching mine as if trying to decide whether I was telling the truth this time.

“I hope you’re telling the truth this time, Kiyotaka.”

“I am. So… are we dating now?”

“I suppose we are.”

“Then I can do this, right?”

I stepped closer and widened my arms. Even if our relationship wasn’t real in the way she wanted, I intended to treat it as one. If I was going to learn what love and human emotions actually felt like, I had to start somewhere.

“Kiyotaka… what are you…?”

Kei’s voice came out surprised, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she let me draw her in. Her hands settled lightly against my chest as she returned the embrace from below, her body still a little tense.

As I held her frail form, a quiet thought surfaced. One day, I wanted to be able to reciprocate what she felt for me. When graduation came and I was dragged back under that man’s control, I at least wanted to have regained something I had lost. I hoped the memories of this place — the people I had met, the new things I had experienced — would never be washed away.

I looked down at Kei. She had a small, happy smile on her face. She couldn’t see my expression from where she was pressed against me. I wondered… did my face show any emotion at all? Or was it still wearing the same blank mask I always wore? Even I didn’t know anymore.

While I'm certain she was happy about being held like this, I knew that she had plans. Of course, she can delay them or just cancel, but I'd rather she decides that on her own. So while I didn't let her go, I still broke the comfortable silence that surrounded us.

“Kei, you had some plans right?”

“Yeah…..” she muttered quietly against my chest. Not wanting to separate from me, I know that physical contact with one you cherish can be quite soothing. Seems like the one sided nature doesn't stop that from being the case, even when she is well affect of that fact.

“Well, if you're still going, you probably should leave, that is, if you still plan on going”

“You really think I'm going to do that after what happened here? My makeup got destroyed anyway because of you” She said while hitting my chest, there wasn’t much force behind it, so her actions could definitely be called cute.

“I suppose that's true”

“You really had to ruin my night out…” Kei muttered while putting on a disappointed act.

“Hmm….” I pretended to think deeply about what I was going to say.

“You like playing a spy right?”

“I don’t like the way you said it, but yes, I did have fun doing errands for you”

“While I didn’t plan to tell you this at first, I might just o it, being honest and all right?”

“So, you’re actually going to keep it? I was sure you’d tell me just enough to satisfy me while keeping the rest hidden”.

It appears she really has no faith in me on this. Hardly surprising though, I’m not the most forthcoming person after all.

“Well, do you want to hear it?”

Kei moved away from me, escaping my hug, I didn’t mind that, it would be easier to converse this way, afterwards she simply nodded her head.

“Once the new first year starts, at least one first year will be here for the sole purpose of expelling me”

“Why would somebody go into this school to expel you? Who’d want to waste their time like this for a student”.

Kei looked puzzled at that. From her perspective, without any knowledge of the facility, it would indeed make little to no sense. Still, she’d have to do without knowing that.

“They aren’t exactly doing that because they want to, though i don’t doubt that they may resent me.”

“Why would they resent you?”

“Jealousy.”

“I guess…. that makes sense, why would someone want you expelled so much they’d send a student after you.”

Kei looked at me with a questioning eyes, no doubt trying to pry as much information from me as she could. I wondered what should i say, telling a lie would be a bad idea. I should just tell the truth while omitting other details.

“You could say… it’s a family issue.”

“That has to be the biggest family feud I’ve seen” Kei laughed a bit at that. “What do you need me to do?”

“Once the year starts, I’ll look around the first year, then I’ll tell you about everyone that looks suspicious to me, I’d like you to investigate those people.”

“Do you care about how I do it?”

“No, not really, just do your best to gather as much information as you can on them, as well as their behavior.”

“Sure, I’ll do it”

Kei looked eager to perform, I certainly didn’t mind, if this relationship gave her more motivation, that’s certainly not a bad outcome, not at all.

“If any of them notice you, or just try to get out of there as fast as you can and report it to me.”

I’ve had a lot of faith in Kei’s abilities, i don’t think any normal student would be able to notice her, during her time with me, she became very proficient at this role. If anyone noticed her, I’d immediately suspect them to be a white roomer. While somebody like Koenji would notice that too, any anomaly like this would be a major suspect.

“Sure I will do that.”

I debated telling her about Sakayanagi, however, I decided to wait a bit on that. I didn’t want to overwhelm her with so much information this quickly.

“Kiyotaka, you want our relationship to stay hidden, right?”

“Yes, at least for now, I’d rather you don't get targeted” I explained. While being public would have it’s benefits, at least for now, the dangers outweighed them. I was planning to be a bit more serious during school now, due to Manabus words, so reveling our relationship after I became more well known would be far less conspicuous.

“Yeah, i figured, making our relationship public like this would be quite bad for my social status too, that’d be quite bad for my usefulness.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that, I plan to be a bit more serious during class, you could say, I’m gonna start being more public, so once that happens, dating me wouldn’t really reduce your status”

“This makes me weirdly conflicted.”

“Why?”

“Well, you really don’t know? Being one of the few people that knew about you felt kinda cool. I’m happy about my ‘boyfriend‘ becoming more popular and appreciated, but I’m gonna feel less special”

“Well, when that happens, you’d be able to parade me as your boyfriend, i don’t think it’s a bad trade”

Kei’s face turned red again as she averted her eyes from me.

“I-i guess…”

“Well, I think you should get going, it’s almost curfew.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right, I’ll get going then, Kiyotaka” Kei moved towards the door then opened it, but just before disappearing.

“I’ll be coming to your room tomorrow, we’re dating after all” Before she disappeared, I could see her red face.