AIO? My sister stole my baby name.
My (32F) sister (34F) and her husband just had their first baby, wonderful, super happy for them! They didn’t tell anyone what the name was beforehand, only that they had a short list that they were going to choose from after the birth. They did not tell anyone the full list, but we had an idea of some of the names that would be on it. Fast forward to today, they share the baby’s name via text (they live in another state and my family is going to see them soon), and BAM! It’s a name I never expected since it was my #1 baby name, for my own child. To be clear, at no point so far have I said anything at all to my sister in response to the name. But I read the text and immediately start to cry involuntarily. I have told my family (mom, dad, sister) *multiple* times about how much I like this name and wanted to use it for one of my kids. I know I have. I remember it coming up on several occasions, including one where I told them all in detail how it was the name of the heroic character in one of my favourite books that was important to me. I KNOW I’ve shared this information. But when I tell my mother that I’m crying and starting to freak out (again, involuntary, but I’m just in shock) because my sister has used my baby name…she just looks at me and says “well I didn’t know, I haven’t heard you say anything about it before.” Mind you, my whole family has managed to commit to memory at least a dozen of my sister’s previously shared preferred baby names. So I’m just…angry. And hurt. I can’t believe that 1) my sister used my baby name, 2) that my entire family apparently doesn’t listen to me when I talk, even at length, about things of significance like that, and 3) that now, I have to pretend that this doesn’t bother me, because it can’t be undone, and I’m going to have to act like I love their baby name when really a small part of me will be thinking “that’s supposed to be MY son’s name”. I was so excited for my sister and to meet my nephew, I was looking forward to all of it, but now it just feels…tainted. This all just happened today and obviously I’m still upset and processing all of this, but I’m devastated. Is that insane?
EDIT: my extended family is not large and has little to no name repetition. This particular name is relatively uncommon, so please stop suggesting that I still use the name, that is not a real option.
EDIT 2: my family (me and my sister and our parents) have been discussing baby names for years. She had her list and I had mine long before she was pregnant. My husband and I are not currently expecting, but my family DOES “claim names” in a discussion type manner, so since our lists had already been discussed, I assumed she would use one of her names she had been excited about, not use my own personal favourite that she had never expressed any interest in.