u/dankmummyy

For context, F(23) Im an international student in canada and after i started my university right after my 12th grade(2021) in india, so I was still a little immature to be out alone in the world without my parents who didn't teach me enough about how the world works before throwing me the sheep herd. I came here after lockdown, had to deal with very bad roommates except a couple people. I treated them like my family but ended up
\\-$3000-3500 because I was too gullible and dumb. I have Pcos that already gave me a lot to deal with including my past trauma's. Made me depressed(which i was after covid hit) after first two months I spent here, my grades dropped anxiety and depression peaked. I went to my university therapist who has a PHD, told me I was just nervous. Professors are racist, fees are so fucking high through the roof that cant be explained. I took a break from school due to hifh stress and panic attacks. Another reason was fees too, I was not able to pay the fees of the failed classes that i had. These people don't even know a quarter of what the struggles we go through, and i have no words for my parents, I am just a failure that drained all their hardship and money. I only have a few months on my permit and im at rock bottom mentally, financially and emotionally. I cry 80% of the day and Im just tired to live upto the expectations everyone has for me.

When I was in India, I was the straight A's student. scored 89% in 10thcbse and 78 in 12th(mass promotion- no exams). I dont know where she went, i see someone else if i stare in the mirror a little too long. Academic wise I was above average and strong, also scored 8 bands in IELTS but i feel like a completely different person now. I have had a few bad phases in school and it has still left a big impact on me, i was bullied and that went on for months. I used to come to my mother crying after school and i felt that was kind of brushed off. I dont have a vulnerable side with my mother anymore, she uses my insecurities against me in an argument she created out of thin air. Had a lot of issues growing up, financially we were good but not best.

Lastly, I know there's no way out of this. I have lost so many opportunities and I cant go back to india because there's just too much expectations because I haven't told them about my break from school, I am selling a lot of my stuff and saving a little money I have. They will also send me a portion of fees that I am not going to touch at all. I will schedule the amount to be sent to my sister. and idk kms.

I have no idea why I am even posting this here, i have no one to share this to, maybe i just want someone to know why i did what i had to a long time ago, sooner. i'm sorry if im wasting your time, have a good day if you stuck till the end with me here. thankyou

For context, F(23) Im an international student in canada and after i started my university right after my 12th grade(2021) in india, so I was still a little immature to be out alone in the world without my parents who didn't teach me enough about how the world works before throwing me the sheep herd. I came here after lockdown, had to deal with very bad roommates except a couple people. I treated them like my family but ended up
\-$3000-3500 because I was too gullible and dumb. I have Pcos that already gave me a lot to deal with including my past trauma's. Made me depressed(which i was after covid hit) after first two months I spent here, my grades dropped anxiety and depression peaked. I went to my university therapist who has a PHD, told me I was just nervous. Professors are racist, fees are so fucking high through the roof that cant be explained. I took a break from school due to hifh stress and panic attacks. Another reason was fees too, I was not able to pay the fees of the failed classes that i had. These people don't even know a quarter of what the struggles we go through, and i have no words for my parents, I am just a failure that drained all their hardship and money. I only have a few months on my permit and im at rock bottom mentally, financially and emotionally. I cry 80% of the day and Im just tired to live upto the expectations everyone has for me.

When I was in India, I was the straight A's student. scored 89% in 10thcbse and 78 in 12th(mass promotion- no exams). I dont know where she went, i see someone else if i stare in the mirror a little too long. Academic wise I was above average and strong, also scored 8 bands in IELTS but i feel like a completely different person now. I have had a few bad phases in school and it has still left a big impact on me, i was bullied and that went on for months. I used to come to my mother crying after school and i felt that was kind of brushed off. I dont have a vulnerable side with my mother anymore, she uses my insecurities against me in an argument she created out of thin air. Had a lot of issues growing up, financially we were good but not best.

Lastly, I know there's no way out of this. I have lost so many opportunities and I cant go back to india because there's just too much expectations because I haven't told them about my break from school, I am selling a lot of my stuff and saving a little money I have. They will also send me a portion of fees that I am not going to touch at all. I will schedule the amount to be sent to my sister. and idk kms.

I have no idea why I am even posting this here, i have no one to share this to, maybe i just want someone to know why i did what i had to a long time ago, sooner. i'm sorry if im wasting your time, have a good day if you stuck till the end with me here. thankyou

For context, F(23) Im an international student in canada and after i started my university right after my 12th grade(2021) in india, so I was still a little immature to be out alone in the world without my parents who didn't teach me enough about how the world works before throwing me the sheep herd. I came here after lockdown, had to deal with very bad roommates except a couple people. I treated them like my family but ended up
\-$3000-3500 because I was too gullible and dumb. I have Pcos that already gave me a lot to deal with including my past trauma's. Made me depressed(which i was after covid hit) after first two months I spent here, my grades dropped anxiety and depression peaked. I went to my university therapist who has a PHD, told me I was just nervous. Professors are racist, fees are so fucking high through the roof that cant be explained. I took a break from school due to hifh stress and panic attacks. Another reason was fees too, I was not able to pay the fees of the failed classes that i had. These people don't even know a quarter of what the struggles we go through, and i have no words for my parents, I am just a failure that drained all their hardship and money. I only have a few months on my permit and im at rock bottom mentally, financially and emotionally. I cry 80% of the day and Im just tired to live upto the expectations everyone has for me.

When I was in India, I was the straight A's student. scored 89% in 10thcbse and 78 in 12th(mass promotion- no exams). I dont know where she went, i see someone else if i stare in the mirror a little too long. Academic wise I was above average and strong, also scored 8 bands in IELTS but i feel like a completely different person now. I have had a few bad phases in school and it has still left a big impact on me, i was bullied and that went on for months. I used to come to my mother crying after school and i felt that was kind of brushed off. I dont have a vulnerable side with my mother anymore, she uses my insecurities against me in an argument she created out of thin air. Had a lot of issues growing up, financially we were good but not best.

Lastly, I know there's no way out of this. I have lost so many opportunities and I cant go back to india because there's just too much expectations because I haven't told them about my break from school, I am selling a lot of my stuff and saving a little money I have. They will also send me a portion of fees that I am not going to touch at all. I will schedule the amount to be sent to my sister. and idk kms.

I have no idea why I am even posting this here, i have no one to share this to, maybe i just want someone to know why i did what i had to a long time ago, sooner. i'm sorry if im wasting your time, have a good day if you stuck till the end with me here. thankyou