I love you so much that I want to be you. I want to become one with you! To your blood, your organs, just you as a whole. I can feel my love for you turn into you, making us become one! You were always mine.
Toga doubles please dni!
Another example of me having a past f/o only for them to be a kinsider (or kin) later on lol.
(I don't own these edits)
Both Ash and Toga are my IDs. But I imagine Toga having features of Ash; black hair and shadow quirk while still having my blood quirk. Idk if this is just an example of a kinsona or smth else.
Toga doubles please dni!!
I know that was pretty quick...But I'm certain. I spent re-watched scenes of Toga in my source (which gave me euphoria) and reading manga analysis just to be extra sure to kinfirm.
My relationship with my f/o feels a little weird now. Not in a bad way, though. The love and everything is still the same, I'm just both members of the league now lol. But at least I get to see endless fan art of us!
Toga doubles please dni!!
I'm kinda conflicted?? Cuz in my source memories as my OCkin, Toga was one of my closest friends. And now she's a kinsider so it's confusing.
But I kinda feel like I am her?? Like one big reason why is because I have this strong urge to "become" who I love, just like Toga. I know for a fact that I don't kin my f/o, but I have this feeling that I wanna be him? Not in a fictionkin sense, but in a "love" sense like Toga because I love him so much.
I've always liked blood/gore, and even though that's something I always liked as just a part of my own interests. But seeing Toga act all cute about it makes me go "omg that's so me" cuz I get scared of saying I like that stuff out loud.
Looking back on my kins, I recognized a pattern of all of them being either a past selfship or questioning selfship, which was way before I found out I was fictionkin. I was literally on "idk if I wanna date them or be them" type shit and ended up being all of them in the end.
(Selfship doubles of my f/o please dni. I'm in a very sensitive state right now.)
In my memories/past life, I was with my f/o in my source. I believe that we also met up in this world as well. I consider myself to be canon in my source and believe I'm his only partner.
Then, I stumbled across a selfship double of my f/o who was also fictionkin...and claimed to also have memories of being with my f/o in his world. I felt like my "reality" was completely shattered?? And I don't believe in the multiverse theory when it comes to my partner which just added onto me feeling like I was having some kind of existential crisis or smth. And then I felt like everything I remembered back then was a total lie? I almost had a panic attack.
Any fictos or selfshippers relate to this?? Can I get any advice on how to deal with this and how to make myself feel better??
(Commission by durenangka on vgen)
Got kin euphoria looking at this :3
I have different(?) feelings on other characters based on my kins. For example: I'm Reze (Chainsaw Man) but Makima is my favorite character in this world. But then when I look back and have to deal how she "killed" me in the movie I'm like "man she sucks for doing that-"
Or that my ID/MHA OCkin hates heros in my source/past life, but in this life, I think some of them are pretty cool.
Mixed feelings about this?? I'm a trans guy with gender dysphoria, and she's my first female kinsider. But I can't handle being called she/her.
But Reze with he/him pronouns...sounds good to me. It helps as a femboy lol
(Mostly about my MHA OCkin)
Like I feel euphoric and a little sad at the same time. Realizing I was fictionkin actually helped with my identity as someone with BPD. I feel much more complete and comfortable in myself, and much happier. But then I realize I can't go home or use my quirk. The least I can do is do things that remind me of my kin, dress like him and role-playing as him/myself (which does help).
My s/o is from the MHA universe (my home) and I sometimes feel sad that I can't feel him hold me like how he does in my memories. Even though I have merch and plushies of him to help me feel closer to him, it hurts knowing that I can't feel him hugging me back now. We were together in my past life. It helps when I remind myself that we're both together in every universe including this one, but still.
I really like this one. I was like: damn did I write this or smth??
But if there's a song based on me that I don't like, I just think they got my character wrong lol
Specifally Human Alastor. Been a kinsider for weeks.
(Andrew doubles can interact!)
I took the advice from the comments on my last kinsider post, and it helped a lot. I've actually been kinsidering Andrew for a while, but I shoved it down for the most part until now. But I feel less ashamed about being Andrew now! (I literally felt a wave of euphoria being called Andrew JSJSJS-)
I talked to my f/o about it, and he understood and accepted it! He knows that my psychological kin is due to trauma, and how I don't condone any actions that happened in my source. He doesn't want me to feel bad about it.
I perfer doubles to IWC for now since I just accepted being Andrew, but this status will change later. Sourcemates are okay to interact tho!