u/daybyday0

LDR for almost 2 years and ISTP bf barely shows affection

I'm struggling dating my ISTP bf. We are both late twenties and work stressful jobs. There has been this ongoing pattern where I have to keep asking him for affection over and over. He will say he understands but there's no change.

-He's always stoic and rarely laughs, even when I'm trying to be funny.

-He doesn't tell me he likes me or what he likes about me unless I ask him

-He never says he misses me first

-When we do see each other..

  1. He doesn't smile when he sees me

  2. when I wake up next to him he doesn't say anything and continues watching his video

  3. he doesn't hug me unless I initiate

What he does do: helps with any problem by listening or trying to help diagnose, always makes time for me everyday, gives me updates, if I'm not feeling well he'll get me food.

I don't really know what to do. He says he does like me and I try to be understanding but sometimes I feel so unloved because of his lack of initiative, reciprocity, and energy but it feels really lonely. It feels like I have to carry the relationship.

Any advice or thoughts?

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u/daybyday0 — 6 days ago