r/ISTPrelationships

I thought I was good at reading people until now lol. I had this scenario with a man at his workplace who I’m heavily suspecting he is an INTJ/ISTP (or something very similar) based off of his mannerisms.

He was calm, calculated, extremely aware of his surroundings, and had low key wit/dead humor.

To avoid boring you with the entire story, I’ll summarize it to this:

he seemed to pay more attention to me than anyone else before we even spoke (not words, I caught him looking at me A LOT), I initiated the initial conversation (after weeks of this tension), his responses were measured but included dry humor, and slightly more information than what was necessary, but not rambling at all. It seemed calculated but not stiff?

I asked him a semi-flirty question (with plausible deniability because he was on the clock), and his response was measured with no indication whatsoever of what was on his mind when he responded.

It wasn’t until after I left and looked up said answer to my question that I found out it was a sensual response lol.

I’ve never had such a hard time figuring out what someone was thinking before, yet feeling like I already have the answer.

So, my question to you lovely people is: what do you think is going on here? And, what is your typical flirting style?

tl;dr: A mysterious-acting man is living rent free in my head for the first time and I have no clue if he was flirting with me or not. LOL.

29 M. I’m not a virgin or anything like that, I’ve been with women and all. Had more success in college just from apps. Finding it’s harder in person and on apps after college. I actually probably look better now than I did in college if anything. Better physique and more mature facial structure without looking like I’ve aged much. I naturally get a lot of social anxiety and some heart racing but found that when I’m in better spirits and not as stressed from work/life related issues I’ve gained more attention from women. For example when my energy is more relaxed I’ve noticed women gaze as I walk by if I’m dressed nice especially. But it’s not easy, I’m a pretty broken man from many traumatic events that happened in my life. I still can’t find it in myself to approach women in casual settings. Worried I’ll end up freezing or come off too awkward and say something cringe/stupid. Anyone have tips on how to shake the approach anxiety?

As soon as I let my walls down, everyone ends up leaving or becoming more distant. I feel like I have to constantly put on a mask with everyone I meet, especially if I try to get into a romantic relationship. I think I'm only meant for being friends with people and one-night stands and that's probably about it atp

For all ISTPs what do you think about INTJ females?

I’ve been knowing an ISTP for a long time (almost 4 years) he seems interested in me but I can’t be sure because we have a bit of age gap(we have a teacher/student relationship but its legal),he told me about his fears and that im “different” compared to others; what do you think that stands for specifically,why did he say that? I asked him but he didn’t answer and said something out of topic so I didn’t press on it.

Im not certain about my feelings towards him so im not planning a future with him,I just want to understand his actions and why he did those.

I would like to know about your thoughts for friendship and relationship, if you have experiences and whys; i would like to understand your perspective.