Does this ENFJ want to be my friend?
I’m (40F) an INTJ who has been working with an ENFJ (36F) since January. I’m an engineer and she’s my HR person.
At first I didn’t care for her and was a bit intimidated as she gave me a talk about how I could be terminated if I didn’t meet my probation goals. In time though, I finally realized I had her all wrong. She’s warm, bubbly, attuned to others, friendly to everyone, and very helpful. I warmed to her and began to share more about my interests, world view, hobbies and found our convos quite congenial. There was one check-in in particular where I said I didn’t have anything to bring up so I’d let her go and she said no, this is your time… almost as if she didn’t want the interaction to end. A mutual coworker said she found me fun to talk to, which I found surprising.
I asked her to lunch and she said yes right away, booked a time in for us in the calendar, and even suggested a local place to go to. This week we finally had a slice of pizza together irl and our convo felt even more natural and easy together. We talked about our travel plans, psychology, music, and at times I forgot we were at work.
When she walks by my desk at work, she smiles warmly toward me. She feels great to be around and I think I might be a bright spot in her day as well since I’m not as cold as the other engineers she has to meet with.
Only thing is, how can I tell she likes me as a friend versus every other coworker she’s friendly to? She is nice to everybody so it’s really hard to tell. I could see us being friends irl since our lifestyles and circumstances are quite similar, but I can’t be sure.