u/ddillt

Hi everyone. This is an update to my previous post (you can find the first part pinned or in my profile history, as Reddit filters deleted my last attempt when I included the link).

​A quick recap: On a family trip, my two cousins made a bet and sexually assaulted me while I was asleep. Now, I am forced to see one of them in my classroom every single day, and he acts completely shameless.

​Update:

I finally built up the courage to tell my mother everything. At first, she just held me, hugged me, and comforted me. I honestly thought things would be okay after that, even if they didn't face any real punishment.

​But then, she started casually bringing them up in conversations as if nothing had ever happened. She’d say stuff like, "Look, cousin #1 took a photo near the school," or "Cousin #2 just bought a motorcycle." I eventually couldn't take it anymore and snapped at her. I didn't say anything crazy, just told her to stop, and then locked myself in my room. She kept persistently knocking on the door until I finally gave in and made up with her, just pretending everything was fine.

​But today was the breaking point. Those two individuals actually showed up at my house. They only came over because of some family business regarding a distant relative, so they weren't even there to apologize or acknowledge what they did. They didn't dare to come inside, but my mom went out and just casually talked to them. Hearing her speak to them so gently and use their names literally made my skin crawl.

​When she came back inside, I completely lost it. I tried to stay calm, but I just started crying and screaming at her.

Trying to cool down, I walked into the kitchen, but she followed me and asked: "Did they really do something that bad?"

​That absolutely crushed me. I was sobbing, screaming, and told her: "Oh, so you think it was something beautiful? Did they buy me an iPhone or a laptop?!" Her excuse was that she "keeps forgetting" about what happened. I told her:

"I knew you would react like this. That's exactly why I was terrified to tell you. I knew you wouldn't do anything because you love these relatives, these horrible people, more than me. And I was right. Do you even understand how much this hurts? I viewed them as my actual brothers, and they treated me like I was completely worthless."

​I said a lot of other things too. After that, she got down on her knees and tried to hug me, but I completely ignored her. It’s been 6 hours now, and I am still giving her the silent treatment.

​I just feel so betrayed and empty right now. I don’t know what to do. I’m just a dumb fool. I love her.

I am a high school student, and I am carrying a nightmare that is completely destroying me. It happened during a family trip. We spent the whole day laughing and having fun, and I was just trying to be a good sister to my cousins. At night, we stayed in a small rented house. Because space was tight, everyone was sleeping close to each other.

I fell asleep later than them, lying on my side. After some time, I woke up because I felt something pushing hard against my private area through my pants. I turned around quickly, and my cousin jumped back in fear. I asked him several times what he was doing and if he was an idiot. He just denied everything, saying he did nothing.

I turned back, laid flat, and closed my eyes. I was in complete shock, trying to sleep, trying to force myself not to realize what had just happened. I wanted to grab my phone, but I was too terrified to even open my eyes, so I faked being asleep. About 5 minutes later, I heard them whispering and laughing. After 20 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my phone and texted my other cousin, the one I am actually close with, telling him that I didn't understand what was happening and that I was terrified.

The two of them went into another room. Around 5 AM, the cousin who had jumped away from me called me out to talk. The second one was trying to convince him not to do it. I barely agreed to talk. During the conversation, the second cousin kept whining, saying things like "I want to leave, hurry up and tell her, I feel sick," etc. The first one then explained what happened: they had made a bet. First, the second cousin did it to me while I was asleep, and then he convinced the first one to do it too. That was when I woke up. Soon after that, they ran away.

Now, I have to see the first cousin in my classroom every single day. He is so shameless. He constantly sits next to me like nothing happened, or casually calls out my name. For the first time in my life, I genuinely wish for a person to die, and my own feelings terrify me.

​I just can't understand it. How could someone who played the role of my protector turn into a monster in one night? How could he touch me like that? Every time I remember what he did, I feel so sick and full of pain. But at the same time, my mind goes back to how things were before the assault, and I catch myself missing that "past" version of him and the safety I thought I had.. I can't forget it. Please, I just need some support right now.

P.S. This is my very first post here, and I am not entirely sure how to write this or what to do. I hope my story didn't trigger or upset anyone. I just really needed to open up because I've been carrying this all by myself.