I just cant stop...
I'm a 27 M compulsive gambler. It started a couple almost 3 years ago watching a YouTuber gambling on online casinos, thinking that it looks cool and i wanted to try it. At first like many others, I started with just $50 here or there not really caring but overtime it turned into $100/$300 deposits everyday once I got that rush of winning big. Now I'm basically 38k in debt to credit cards and loans. I have 2 kids and a loving gf that I'm trying to take care of but this is just so consuming.
I'm in therapy and have been in contact with a bankruptcy lawyer to try to get back on track but it seems like no matter what I do I just can't stop. I've installed gamban on my phone and computers but I know how to get around it. Nothing seems interesting to me anymore besides gambling, pretty much to the point where I don't even know who I am when I look into the mirror. Everybody in my family knows and of course its very shameful to be that person in your family.
I just wanted to vent some of it out, Gambling has ruined me.