Looking for people with experience adopting from foster system
My wife and I, twice now, have been asked by a friend to help with kids that someone they used to be friends with birthed, abused, neglected and/or abandoned. They all officially went into the system this past year.
They all had potential forever homes until recently; which is where we were asked the second time to try to get involved. As a same sex couple, starting a family is hard (I’m in my 30’s and my wife is in her late 20’s, so we are getting to the point that it almost feels too late to try to have bio kids), so we didn’t waste any time coming to the conclusion that we were 100% sold on taking 2 of the kids in.
We reached out to the caseworker, started the process to get foster certified and even started childproofing our home immediately, as it looked as if things were going to work in our favor to get them.
The past week, the kids were bounced from home to home to home because the foster system failed them horribly, and rushed them out of a safe place. There was a court date this week, and the judge ruled that where the kids are now, that family needs to adopt them or they will give custody back to the neglectful, abusive, substance abusing bio-parents, because they don’t want to move the kids again.
Where they are now is safe and familiar, but the intention of the family was to foster them until we could get certified and take them in as fosters with the intent to adopt. Now that family has been backed into a corner and is borderline being forced to adopt these kids, or subject them to a life of abuse and neglect.
Does anyone know how to change the mind of the court or state system? Can the family delay the adoption until we get certified and the caseworker step in and say they’ve found a better, permanent fit? What if they adopt them, but we take them and they give us power of attorney? Outside of the difficulties that will come from moving them again, the kids coming to us works best for everyone— we preserve the current relationships, they’re in a safe environment, and we take the stress off the current family, who realistically was not prepared, and did not want to permanently add 2 kids to their family. Any ideas? I keep hoping that if we can get certified asap, we can get the states help to redirect them.
I drafted a letter to the judge in the hopes they’d hear us out and consider us as a realistic and reasonable option, but idk if the judge is even a reasonable person, at this point.
We are desperate to take these kids in, we’ve met them and adore them and can 100% see a life built around them.