(23F) (27M) How should I interpret my partner's claim that I gave him an infection after my first sexual experience?
My previous post was deleted, so I’m reposting it. I’m not trying to spam or repeatedly post; I’m just trying to get advice on my situation because I’m so depressed on how rotten my time experience with sex was.
I was a virgin before I met this guy. I would go to his house regularly, but I did not want to sleep with him. We would do other things like kissing. Eventually, I agreed to have sex. It was quite painful and uncomfortable for me. He claimed he didn’t know sex hurt that much for virgins.
About two weeks later, I started spotting, which was strange because I had never spotted before my period. Earlier, I had read about implantation bleeding, so I became paranoid because we had sex without a condom, although he pulled out.
I told him we needed to get a pregnancy test. That Saturday, we went to a clinic together. I had to borrow money from a friend to pay for the test. We went into the clinic together, I filled out a form, and he waited outside. I asked the nurse to call him in, which she did, and we sat together waiting.
I was then called into another room for an injection. After I came back out, the nurse told us they couldn’t print the test result because of an issue with their printer, but that it would be sent to me on WhatsApp. The nurse was preparing the result on the computer and even said, “Don’t worry, you have nothing to worry about.” That made me feel relieved.
About 25 minutes later, I received the result on WhatsApp. It was negative. I said out loud, “Negative.” He didn’t ask to see the result or say anything, so I assumed everything was fine.
Then I noticed his mood completely changed. I asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn’t answer. Instead, he told me to get into my ride and go home, saying he’d talk to me later. I was confused, so I left.
While I was on my way home, he texted me:
“Uhmm you lied to me about being a virgin when your not secondly your infected. When we first did it told you that your meant to be enjoying it and I suggested going to see a pharmacist you refused. Since we started doing stuff tbh i started feeling some way like I got infected I can swear anywhere.”
I was completely shocked. He said he believed he had been infected, and he also said he was experiencing smelly urine and itchy balls. In his mind, because the pregnancy test was negative and I had been spotting, he concluded that I had an infection.
Later that same day, my period started. It turned out the spotting was simply the beginning of my period, which had started differently that month, possibly because of hormonal changes and having sex for the first time.
He insisted that sex was painful because I was “infected,” not because I was a virgin having sex for the first time. He also accused me of hiding the test result from him and secretly working with the nurses to conceal an infection.
The thing is, he was there the entire time. He heard the nurse say the results would be sent through WhatsApp. He sat beside me while we waited. He could have simply asked to see the result or asked questions if he was confused. Instead, he accused me of being shady and sneaky.
What hurts me the most is that I left an area where there are plenty of pharmacies to go to a clinic near his place so we could do the test together. Yet somehow, he convinced himself I was hiding something from him.
I can’t get over the fact that the first person I ever had sex with treated me this way instead of showing me kindness or concern.
Despite everything, I was the one who eventually went back and apologized for the insults I said during our argument. Im deeply hurt I saw a repost he reposted where it said “sexual discipline is a flex, people are sick out there and they won’t tell you”. I’m so depressed and do not know what do with myself.
Was I wrong for cursing him out? Did I overreact, or was my anger justified?
Fast forward three weeks later, we ended things for good over something that really wasn’t a huge issue, and he told me to move on.