u/devletbahceli

i have been talking to my friends a lot about climate change and how its been making me feel recently, and everytime when i talk about it with my friends, they tell me how "compassionate" and "sensitive" i am. one friend actually said "i wish i could go inside your brain to understand how you feel/think". they all nod their heads when i talk and they do agree with me that this is all heartbreaking but at the end of the day they are able to go back to their lives. why cant i?

these conversations have made me think, why do i care so much? why does collapse affect me so much? why do i feel so much guilt and fear and shame and sadness? why do i wake up thinking about the rising sea tempratures? why do i think about the wildfires in borneo and the orangutans there? why do i feel so restless and why am i dreading everything? the grief is everywhere.

in your opinion, why are we so affected by collapse and climate change? like, the fear and sadness is too much, but why am i feeling it to my core? why am i (and probably you) so consumed by this? is it something to do with our brain chemistry? is it our humanity?

im not trying to make it sound like we are super special and super kind-hearted people because we are saddened by collapse and climate change. i think everybody should care about whats going on but clearly not many do. so, im genuienly curious why we care so much? why do i carry the grief with me everywhere i go? why cant i go back to "normal life" like my friends and family?

basically the title.

im feeling extremely trapped recently. i like my job but i just feel like i should do something that actually matters like volunteering at an animal shelter or something. i just want to help and be more connected to nature & animals.

i just really need to vent and maybe (hopefully) find people who are in a similar situation as me.

i first learned about collapse back in 2019 when i was a freshman in university in a foreign country. i was losing my mind throughout 2019 to 2021 and my fear of (premature) death due to climate change just paralyzed me. living alone in a foreign country is stressful enough, but climate change really really took a toll on my mental health.

i have long graduated but i am still in the same foreign country, now working. i live a comfortable life here, i make good money, i have some friends, adopted two cats and im able to travel and enjoy the nature around me. but something happened in me recently that is eating me up.

i recently went back home for 10 days just to see my friends (my family is able to visit me often). i realized how much i missed them and spending time with them. i came back to the foreign country a few days ago and can not help but feel incredibly lonely and isolated. i feel my heart physically hurting because all i can think of is how im spending the end of the world by myself, in a foreign country very very far away from home.

since coming back im just trying to understand what my priorities are. do i want to live in this foreign country, alone but comfortably, or do i want to surround myself with my friends and family but in my shitty and dangerous home country?

i do realize i am being extra emotional because i just came back from the trip but i want to ask, has anybody made big moving decisions (or just made any big decision) because of collapse?

another important thing to add is, i wouldnt really consider moving back home if i wasnt aware of collapse. my home country is not in a good place in anyway, inflation is so high, everybody is so tense and angry and the streets are just super unsafe. the country i am in is basically the exact opposite of it, so me considering to stay or leave just depends on my feelings of loneliness.

im just scared and feeling lonely at the end of the world.