What is the point of therapy?
I am now 49. Diagnosed with ADHD and NPD (caused by C-PTSD) at the age of 46.
For 25 years of my life, I smoked marijuana at industrial amounts, drank, did coke whenever I could, seduced, fucked around, and made quite a career in advertising.
Ever since I went to therapy, changed all my life (including drugs), went back to church - I'm feeling more broken (and broke) than ever before. Cannot find a job, cannot find a partner, cannot even find a friend (because most of them were as narcissistic as me, just not diagnosed).
I'm trying to be helpful to other men and boys (especially here in mmh)
Wary about my narcissistic tendencies - I became unable to date, seduce, even talk to a woman.
Wary about my ADHD - I became more modest, shy actually. I stopped interrupting, stopped talking altogether.
My own kids used my diagnosis against me, and left, ghosted me ("fuck you, narc", literally).
The moment when I seem "healed" is the darkest moment of my life.
I'm totally broke, I cannot even afford new glasses (no, I don't mean sunglasses lol).
Seeking guidance in the field of WHAT THE FUCK NEXT. Thank you